How to stop hating baby daddy

Suzanne - posted on 03/10/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm 10 weeks almost 11 weeks pregnant I recently broke up with the father of my unborn child, he stopped talking to me and changed his number without telling me while we were dating and I have just realized that I'm actually starting to hate him does anyone know how I can stop hating him

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Raye - posted on 03/10/2016

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It's ok to feel upset. You just have to keep in mind that he will be the father of your baby. If he changed his number, then don't worry about him right now. Take care of you. If he does contact you, though, only talk to him about the pregnancy (or the child if it's born). When the child is born, go to court and get legal custody for yourself and a visitation plan for the father. If he chooses not to follow through with visitations, that's his loss. But he will still have rights. So if he changes his mind later on you will have the court orders that spell out what time he gets, and it should be less drama than not having orders and fighting about it. You just have to love your child more than you hate the child's father, and try to co-parent with him as best as you can.

Sarah - posted on 03/10/2016

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In addition to custody, file for child support. Even if you don't want or need the money your child deserves it and you can always bank it for college. Does he know you are pregnant? Hate is a choice, you are letting him live in your head and your heart "rent free" meaning your hate costs him nothing. Letting go of anger and hate can be tough, be it is very freeing. Remind yourself you cannot control how he acts or treat you, you can only control how you respond. Right now arranging custody and support for your child is the best thing you can focus upon.

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Hope_Floats25 - posted on 03/10/2016

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I'm sorry you're going through this. I can imagine how hurt you must be by his actions. I feel that your hateful feelings towards him would be a normal response. Its ok to be angry, its what you do with it that's important. Do you have anyone that you trust that you can talk to? I have found that getting those feelings out with someone I trust helps me work through the situation in a healthier way. Remember: you are valued, treasured and loved no matter how someone else chooses to treat you. Their behavior does not reflect who you are. Keep your head up! You're gonna be a great mom! Blessings to you!

Dove - posted on 03/10/2016

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I agree w/ everything Raye has mentioned. Right now just focus on yourself and your growing baby. Don't concern yourself w/ what the father is or is not doing right now unless he contacts you... and then just keep it simple and only about the child. Love yourself and love your child... the hatred and anger take time to get over, but it does happen... as long as you keep your focus on the things that matter (and the things you can control) and let go of what you can't control.

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