How to stop my just now 2 year old to stop hitting me?

Crystal - posted on 12/26/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I think my son needs a way of expressing himself. He hits to do so now and need to have him stop. Dont know how to help him though. I tell him to be soft and nice. Tell him dont hit. Ouch that hurts. None work. Any suggestions would be appreciated?

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Ariana - posted on 12/27/2012

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I'm going to sound like a horrible person, but my son used to hit me ALL THE TIME and the only thing that stopped him was I said 'if you hit me again, I'm hitting you back' and he hit me, and I wacked him back, and he tried it once more, and I wacked him back. Not hard enough to topple him over or hurt him but enough to tell him that it hurt and it wasn't nice. He tried once more and after that if he went to do it I would warn him and then he would usually go AHH and not do it.

I would only do this for hitting, and nothing else. I don't spank my son and I wouldn't hit him for not behaving or anything like that.

My thinking is if he goes and hits the wrong kid on the playground they're going to wallop him a lot harder than I am.

Elfrieda - posted on 12/27/2012

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That's pretty normal. Hold him immobile and say, "No hitting. I won't let you hit Mommy." You can also keep holding his arm down until he agrees by saying "no hitting" or "yes, Mommy." If you can get a verbal commitment, he'll try that much harder to follow that rule.

But toddlers have very little self-control - if he has the urge, it's incredibly difficult to resist. That's why he needs your help to physically prevent him from hitting. If you can catch him when he's about to hit you, take control and say "remember, no hitting." That way he's experienced feeling the urge but not doing it, and it's somewhat of a success. Eventually he'll be able to do it himself.

Try to figure out why and when he does it. Is it when there's a lot going on and he gets overexcited? Or when you've set a limit and he needs to have an excuse to have a tantrum and get his frustration out? Or when he's bored and wants a little excitement to liven things up?

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