how to survive every single day

Gabriel - posted on 03/02/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi. I am in my 5th month of my first pregnancy. I never thought that this would happen to me. I was told by my ex-bf that we were going to get married even before pregnancy. Almost everything was ready, but he constantly had reasons to delay our wedding. So I asked God to give me clarity. Finally, He showed me a sign that i should leave him because he (ex-bf) constantly hurt my feeling. So here I am, struggling to survive each day. I constantly pray and ask God for guidance, wisdom and peace that transcends all understanding. However, being human I would really want to be able to talk to someone who i can share my feelings and emotions, and also anybody who could encourage me to keep steady and still with God. Thank you very much.

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Ev - posted on 03/03/2016

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I was married for 12 plus years to my ex husband thinking he cared for me like he said on our 12th anniversary. I found out wrong barely 6 months later. What I did to get past it was just to hang in there because I had two kids that were depending on me much like your baby will depend on you. Just take it a day at a time. Find something to put your mind to such as a hobby, books, or what ever interest you have.

But as for keeping him out of the life of this child; he has as much right to a relationship as you do. I know this sounds hard because you are the one carrying the baby and all, but he can go to court and ask for visitation at the least and even joint custody. That is why I said to get the court orders in place for visitation, custody, and child support. That way he is held responsible for helping to take care of the child just as you are. If he does not take the visits then that is on him. But if you try to keep the child away from him, he can call parental alienation and take you to court over this. Do things the right way and it won't come to that.

Gabriel - posted on 03/03/2016

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Yes he is the father of my child. I intend not to let him see my child after what he has put me through. He lied and made me believe that he loved me and cared for me. This baby was conceived through a conscious and mutual decision from both parties. Right now, I am just emotional and hurting so much after realizing that he doesn't really love me. We've been together for five long years, and been friends even before that. His last message was that he will put actions to his words. But I didn't text him back, nor answered his calls because i feel like I will be falling back to the same cycle. I want him to prove to me that he meant every words he said to me. But i guess i am just waiting in vain. No effort from him to see me and visit me. Since it has been 2 weeks from the last time he communicated with me, I should now be gearing myself and conditioning my mind that he is not going to do anything to win me back. So I guess the real struggle is how to cope with my pain and hurt. The pain and hurt are too deep. ='(

Ev - posted on 03/03/2016

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You need to keep steady and strong with God. Prayer does help but also a good support group too. God does help those who help themselves and you can not just leave it all to him. You have a part to do too. You now have a baby that is going to depend on you. And it is important. I had let my kids go live with dad after divorce because I could not put them through more than they had been and also not to put them at odds in stable home and life. So from that I can understand how it is to wonder if you can survive each day....I had to take it a day at at time. If this ex BF is the father I would suggest highly you get custody, visitation and child support set after baby is here.

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