How to talk to a 15 yrs old to stay in school?

Shelly - posted on 06/19/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )

3

18

0

I have a 15 yrs old niece that is refusing to finish high school. She thinks that she does not need it. My sister has just about everyone talking to her about the importance of education but my niece does not want to listen. My sister is so frustrated that she is about to give up. What should she do? I have tried to talk to her but the same thing comes out of her mouth is I don't want to hear it and I am not going to school next year.. Please help?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

I dropped out at 15. Took my GED at 34.....

If it were MY kid... they'd either be in school full time (and getting decent grades) or working and paying all their own bills... rent, food, car, etc.... everything. Their choice. At 15, you can't really FORCE them to do anything, but you can let them live the consequences of their decisions.

Krista - posted on 06/19/2011

12,562

16

845

Perhaps instead of talking to her, it might be worth talking with her and asking questions. Ask her: where do you see yourself in a year? What about 10 years from now? Where would you like to live? What is your place like? What are you doing? Ask her where she sees herself and what she envisions for her life --- and then ask her how she'd going to make it happen.

A lot of times, we adults tend to yammer on about how education is so important, but we don't say WHY it's important. We need to get across to kids that the absolute worst thing in life is to not have any choices -- to feel stuck and powerless. And the best way to have as many choices as possible is to be as well-educated as possible.

And even if she doesn't get it now, maybe she will eventually. My cousin dropped out at 16 and was on a serious road to ruin, but eventually straightened herself out, got her GED, went to college, and she now has a really good job, a wonderful husband, a lovely home, and three fantastic kids. But at age 16, she just wasn't in that mind-set.

Some people have to learn some lessons the hard way, unfortunately.

Jenni - posted on 06/19/2011

5,928

34

392

If I were your sister I'd tell her if you aren't going to school full time then you need to be working full-time and paying room and board. Your choice.

I mean, what else can she really do? Just keep talking to her about it... maybe have her talk to people who have dropped out or have had to go back and get their GED once they learned they had little opportunities without it.

Grrrr... that sounds so frustrating. What are her goals as an adult? It's hard enough to find good employment with your highschool diploma, generally you need post secondary as well. Let alone without a HS diploma. She's going to regret it.



The good news is; she CAN go back to school or take the route of getting her GED later on. But it is sad, I'm sorry.

Sherri - posted on 06/20/2011

9,593

15

391

Do you guys not have a truancy officer? Here you can not drop out till 18yrs old so I didn't even know it was an option at 15.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/19/2011

12,224

26

264

No, in America she gets her own parents in trouble - they go to jail if she doesn't attend. Welcome to the BS No Child Left Behind act.........

14 Comments

View replies by

Chasity - posted on 06/21/2011

180

23

14

Ok well let her experience life. Its hard to do but she needs to get a job and pay bills i mean have not a penny left after paying bills after doing that for a couple months the option of school needs to be given again. I was naive and did the same thing my grandma did this to me and my plans fell through big time.

Kimberly - posted on 06/20/2011

3

0

0

I would tell her that in order to have a place to live, have food on the table, etc.. that school is a must. I know her parents must support her until 17. But, they can provide her with the bare minimum--a mattress on the floor, 2 pairs of underwear, cheap sweatpants, and 2 t-shirts. Bar soap, no make-up, no phone, music, etc... Once she realizes that all of those things are earned by following the house rules, she'll come around quickly. You have to be drastic. a 15-year-old is not always capable of reason, hence the reason they have parents. If I were this child's parents, in addition to making life unbearably miserable, I would call the cops on her for being out of school.

Shelly - posted on 06/20/2011

3

18

0

Thank to all that has responded, this is really helpful. I will make sure that my sister sees these comments. I really don't know all the details about why my niece doesn't want to finish school for but I hope that she will make the right choose for her future. Thanks again.

Kate CP - posted on 06/19/2011

8,942

36

758

Yea, she doesn't have any choice. She doesn't go to school she goes to juvi. Call the cops on her ass.

Jodi - posted on 06/19/2011

3,560

36

3907

Gotta love the laws in Australia - it is illegal to leave school before 17 in many states unless you have a traineeship or apprenticeship. So I would make sure she have some form of apprenticeship or traineeship before she be permitted to leave school. As someone said, you can't force it, she will only skip school, but you can make a deal with her that she can leave school IF she does this, this and this......

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/19/2011

12,224

26

264

Yeah, her mom does need to give her the 'school or work and pay rent' option. She can't just let her do nothing though

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 06/19/2011

12,224

26

264

With 80% of schools failing, 3 out of every 4, what good is finishing high school? Obveiously she has more issues than is being announced. What are they? Is she being bullied? Struggling in classes? Not getting the help she needs? What is really going on to cause her not to want to go to school? That being said......... since schools are crap, just buy her the 50$ GED book and have her study out of it and pay the 50$ for her to take the test at a local community college when she is ready. She probably might even be able to pass it without studying because the test is so lame. You can tell her that the community college will also test her (an assesment for free) to see where she academically stands in order to get her GED. When I dropped out at 15, yes, 15, I did this. I took the assessment and didn't need to study. Went on to take the GED test and passed. She has options and maybe doesn't need to waste away 3-4 years in highschool if she doesn't want to. She can also become emancipated at 16 and become her own adult to live her life how she wants. My moms best friend did that at 16, went on to become an RN, get her masters in it so she could get more pay and has ended up raising 2 beautiful boys. She'll be fine if she gets support and help. The GED is not an issue and really easy to study for and pass. Most of it is comprehension, so as long as she studies English and Math for a week or however long she needs...... she should be fine. Don't worry so much over her :) just help her!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms