how to tell my son that his father does not want to live with him and is married to another woman now

Vandana - posted on 06/18/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I got seperated when my son was two months old, and divorced when he was one year only and i stay with my parents. my son calls my father as his father...he is 5 and half years now.. till now he has not asked who is his father.. some times he questions some strange things.. pls help me... when is the right time and how to tell him that his father stays with another woman and he does not want to see us......... pls help

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Jessica - posted on 10/06/2013

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I don't think that putting it to him as "believes with another woman and doesn't want to see us" will ever be an appropriate statement to make to your child. Explain that your ad is his grandpa and that's it. Someday he will ask you where his dad is and you just tell him that it didn't work out with you two and he wasn't ready to be a dad so it was better for your son for his dad to go his own way.

Eve - posted on 06/24/2013

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As hard as it may be for you, it's time to tell him the truth! Put your negative feelings aside because children do pick up on this, and just answer matter-of-factly that his daddy lives in a different house and that your father is his grandfather, not his "daddy." Again, children's books about different types of families really do come in handy. The longer you put off telling the truth, the more hurt and mistrust he will harbor when he's finally old enough to figure things out on his own.

Vandana - posted on 06/21/2013

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Thanks Shawnn, however what shall i tell him when he shall ask, where is my daddy... as sooner or later he shall know that the person he calls daddy is his grandfather.. as at times , he ask me why my father's hair is grey... other's father have black hair. I dread that question..
regards
Vandana

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/19/2013

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And do NOT make it about "daddy doesn't want to see you" to your child...

Eve - posted on 06/18/2013

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At age 5, keep it simple. The Family Book by Todd Parr is a good way to introduce the idea that there are many different types of families. Even if you know that his father doesn't want to be in his life, I wouldn't want to plant those negative feelings in my child. Let his questions guide how much information to tell him -- no need to go into all the upsetting details until he is old enough to understand. For right now, focus on how much he's loved by you and by his grandparents.

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