How to trust my body after my stillborn?

Dana - posted on 11/21/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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May 3rd 2013 I delivered my stillborn son, Jake. He was 24wks gestation. Up until 16wks everything seemed to be great. At 16wks we found out he had an SUA (single umbilical artery) and cyst on his left temporal area. We weren't overlay stressing about either because I kept telling myself everything will be fine and I can't stress over things that I cannot change. Then at 20wks we found out that he probably had a coarctation of his aorta. They wanted to look at it further at his 24wk scan. He passed somewhere between 22-24wks. Delivering him was the most gut wrenching experience of my life. It was also beautiful. It when we found out we had another son, my doctor and the nurses were amazing. Jake was beautiful. 10oz and 10inches of love. We are at a point where we are ready to add to our family again. I am just scared of the potential heart ache. I fear I will no longer be that easy going pregnant woman again and that just seems so sad. I want to feel joy and excitement, not fear and anxiety. Please help. Please share your stories with me. Share your feelings.

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