How will a 2 y/o react to my partner leaving?

Nellie - posted on 08/23/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




Me and my high school sweetheart dated for a little under two years in high school then split up. I had my daughter and we got back together and have been living together for several months. My partners been involved in my daughters life for roughly 6 months, and I honestly thought my partner had changed, was more mature. She insisted on being involved in my daughters life, she did everything right for the first couple months, saying all the right things and treating my daughter as if she was her own. And I thought that because we had such history together and because I never stopped loving my partner even when we were apart, that we'd be together forever and that any problem we have we'd work together to resolve it. So, my daughter became attached to my partner very fast, and started calling my partner Mom. I told my partner before that happened that the day that my daughter does that is more serious then popping a ring on her finger, and I told her that she either leaves now or is in it forever, no matter what. And my partner insisted on forever and talked about marriage and all that.

Now, I come to find out that my partner has one foot out the door, telling people "if Nellie ever does ________ I'm leaving, just about various things, stupid childish things. Like the damned rabbit. I told her before she moved (bringing her rabbit with her) that the condition with the rabbit moving in is it needs to have the litter cleaned every day. And at first my partner did, but then things slowly started to change and now she does it maybe once a week and my apartment always smells like rabbit piss. Anyways, I told her sister that if she doesn't start taking care of the damned thing she'll have to get rid of it cause I won't have my apartment smell like rabbit piss. The sister told my partner and my partners response was well then I'll just leave. I feel like I'm her mother or something, always having to nag.

Anyways, I don't feel like there's any point to a relationship if one person is more committed to it then the other. My partner practically has one foot out the door. She never communicates with me, she's on her computer for most of the day (which means I do all the cooking and cleaning) and I've talked to it with her a lot and nothing every changes. And I don't know what to do. I love my partner more then anyone else (besides my daughter of course) I've always loved her, but I feel like she's nothing more then an overgrown child and I don't know what to do. An if I do leave, how will that affect my daughter? She has become extremely attached to my partner, she loves her to bits! And I think I messed up big time rushing into an old flame, and I don't know how to fix it.


Michelle - posted on 08/24/2012




If you stay you would be doing more damage to your daughter. Being a child growing up in house where the adults aren't happy isn't fun at all.

Yes your daughter will be upset but she will move on quicker than you will. Little ones can adjust to change pretty easily. You need to think about yourself and your own happiness. When you are happy your daughter will be happy as well.

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