How would you as a mother handle this situation.

Gennie - posted on 01/15/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

2

0

1

My daughter is 9 years old an she is very smart for her age.she keeps me on my toes:). My daughters father and I were together off and on until my daughter was 2 years old. At that point we ended it for good. Just before my daughter ha turned 3 her father called me up out of the blue and informed me that he was dating a man and that he is now homosexual. He had since went on to marry a man he had been dating since he came out. I struggle with how to deal with the situation in the right way as to not have my daughter look down upon her father, but I also need to teach her what it's about because she clearly knows the difference and we are a Christian family and she doesn't talk to any of her friends or family about her dad's relationship. I don't now not have a ever told my daughter that her father is a bad person or that he is going to hell for being gay. I guess I'm just wondering if there is anyone out there in a similar situation that I could compare notes with and get support as well as support the other person at the same time. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my post

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/15/2015

13,264

21

2015

Its very simple: You explain to your daughter that daddy found someone that makes him very happy, and that they are married. You explain that daddy loves her very much, and that she will be meeting and interacting with his new partner, and you do it with all the love in the world, and zero condemnation in either your heart or your voice. Its not hard, really, if you love your daughter, and are open-minded. My brothers are gay, and when we let our kids know, it was no big deal.

If you can't explain it without being judgmental about it, then let daddy do it. Your ex is fine. Being gay doesn't mean you can't be a parent, and a darn good one.

If you are going to have trouble with that, you'll need to explain to your daughter that God needs to help your heart.

I hope that all works well. It sounds as if you had a great coparenting relationship prior to this.

Liv - posted on 01/15/2015

11

0

1

Your daughter is 9. I feel if you dont make it a big deal neither will she. There are so many MODERN families out there now a days that it shouldnt be hard for her to understand that its another version of a family that she can be proud of having. Even if You dont feel this way.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/15/2015

21,273

9

3058

Now onto how IIIIII would handle this situation.

I would simply tell my daughter that her father is remarried. That he is in love, and found someone to spend his life with. That you should both be happy and supportive of him, and if she has any questions, to ask.

8 Comments

View replies by

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2015

3,920

8

3246

I agree with the others, you tell your Daughter her Daddy has found someone to love and he's now happy.
You haven't been perfect so you can't judge him. He's her Father and they have every right to have a relationship without any bias or ridicule because of your religious beliefs.

Amy - posted on 01/15/2015

6,467

33

2386

I get your Christian and all but if your child was out of wedlock isn't that going to doom you to hell? Were you married then divorced, that's not very religious. Teach your daughter that you can't control who you love and leave it at that, not everyone cares about other peoples sexuality.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/15/2015

21,273

9

3058

Sarah, I think she is pretty clear in her OP what she feels about being gay.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/15/2015

21,273

9

3058

Well first of all, he is NOT going to hell because he is gay, and he is not being a bad person for being homosexual. Isn't that judgment that you are passing which is a sin?? Yeah.....

Being christian does not give you a free pass to hate homosexuality. Nor does it tell you to teach your kids to hate those that are different than you. Let her father explain, cause clearly you cannot without being biased. All she needs to know that he is in love, and married someone he loves.

Sarah - posted on 01/15/2015

9,473

0

22

Do you believe that your ex is doomed to hell for being gay? Do you believe he was born that way or chose to be gay? Do you believe that homosexuality is wrong? By having clear perspective of how you feel about the situation, you are more likely to get advice you will follow. Otherwise this post can turn into a huge debate about whether or not being gay is normal, not a choice and not sending your ex to hell.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms