Angie - posted on 06/15/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )
I'm not sure how to start this, so I will come out and say it. I have a friend who I care very much for. I absolutely LOVE her! I enjoy the time we spend together and look forward to seeing her and miss her when she isn't around. But my problem is her children. She has a 6 yr old son and a 2 yr old daughter. They can be very sweet and fun to have around and watch play, but both have their own little quirks. She has told me that the older one has sensory issues, so I try really hard to be more patient and understanding with him. But he is my major issue. I know that sounds insensitive, but please let me explain why. He is 6 yrs old and still poops in his pants, and sometimes, this will spill out of the leg of his pants and onto my floor, when they are at my house. This happened in my 7 yr old daughter's room as well, and she thought that it was mud and picked it up to throw it away. He knows that he does this, and will literally shake his leg when he feels it falling down his pants. I let it go because, as I said, I thought it was a sensory issue and I really enjoy his mother. But after this last time, with my daughter picking it up with her hand, I can't take it anymore. She does not discipline her children and they run around the house tearing things up and just being wild. I try very hard not to judge people, especially my friends. I believe that we all have our own way of raising our children and that it is no one else's business to tell you how to raise them. So, because of this personal belief, I am having a really hard time with this. I really enjoy my friend, but am getting to the point that I avoid her because of her children. What do I do? How do I get her to understand that, if this is not a sensory issue (she told me he did this shaking thing 6 times yesterday), then she seriously needs to punish him for it? What advice do you have for her that I could give her to help her with this issue? I know that she is already at the end of her rope. That is my other issue. I do not want to add to her embarrassment or lose her as a friend. I want to help her. Please help me!