How Would You Feel? Ex-Husband Marrying Friend and Moving Around the Corner From Me

Jen - posted on 02/20/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




The day after my unwanted divorce was finalized, my ex-husband's girlfriend (who happens to have been a friend and confident) closed on a house around the corner from me and my 5-year old daughter. I'm bitter, angry, hurt, depressed and financially wrecked by our divorce. We were together for 17 years and loved each other deeply. We went to extraordinary measures for me to get pregnant with our daughter. Then he decided our marriage was disposable. Prior to moving out it seems he took up with a former friend, in whom I had sought comfort about my relationship. She was apparently sleeping with my husband while writing to me that no one would want to abandon me and that our friendship mattered so much. Our divorce was finalized a week ago. She lived 4 hours away from where my ex lived and where I live with our daughter. The day after our divorce finalized she closed on a house which is literally around the corner from me. My home is the only home my daughter knows and she feels safe, stable, and happy here. I own my home, thank God. My ex-works half an hour from our town. Am I wrong to think their moving around the corner is mean and spiteful? Though I understand the idea that her father might like proximity to his daughter (he gets her every other weekend) he works very long hours. His fiancee (big surprise) apparently doesn't need to work. Am I wrong to think they could have purchased a home in the town where he works which is a half-hour away from our home? Then he and his new wife and I wouldn't be constantly exposed to each other's um, affairs? It's a very small town and moving will be nearly financially impossible for me and would probably be rather destabilizing for my daughter. I'd love advice on how to put the anger away and how to deal with my former friend in mine and my daughter's life this way.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/20/2014




It does seem that you're reading quite a lot of personal vendetta into this. While I agree that the woman, if she was indeed sleeping with your husband prior to your separation and divorce, is scum, you don't know if her relocation was for that reason or for another, totally unrelated reason, and the move just happened to coincide with the divorce.

But, I'd also agree that your ex may have wanted the proximity to his daughter, in order to maintain a consistent relationship with as little disruption to her as possible.

You may want to speak with a counselor to help you work through your very understandable feelings about the entire situation.

Jodi - posted on 02/20/2014




Actually, them moving around the corner is probably more about accessibility to having a relationship with your daughter. I'd say you are reading more into this than there actually is because of how bitter you are feeling. Have you had any counselling at all to help you? With the way you wrote about this, I think you could benefit from talking to someone and working through your anger.

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