How you get over the loss of twins boys

Brenda - posted on 03/27/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I know this is a different subject but I'm hurting so bad. My relationship started off good with my boyfriend until I told him I was pregnant with twins and then he started telling his friends that he didn't know if the babies was his or not .As months went on the relationship started to get worst he wouldn't come with me to my doctor appointment I had to go by myself I was always depress couldn't sleep I was always crying to make a long story short at 28 weeks I loss one of my twins at that time the father was out of town visiting his family in Texas .On March 14th 2016 I loss my second twins after deliver him his heart stop now my boyfriend walk out on me and he said me and my daughter have to move now .Please help!!!!!

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Jodi - posted on 03/27/2016

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I am very sorry for your loss. This must have been very hard on you, and clearly you are still grieving. I hope you have some family support.

However, I am going to point out a few things for you that will hopefully help you see that your relationship with this man is toxic and is best ended:

1) You only told him you were pregnant once you realised you were pregnant with twins. Generally this is not known until well past the time you have a positive test or the early symptoms. So this indicates to me that you had a communication problem to start with.

2) Your boyfriend showed his true colours (lack of care about you) when he questioned whose babies they were. If you had not been seeing anyone else at this time, then he clearly has no trust of you, and if you HAD been seeing someone else, well, the relationship was doomed anyway.

3) Following the clear lack of trust and lack of respect in your relationship, why would you expect him not to walk out on you? The relationship was broken a long time ago, you just missed the signs.

You and your daughter need to move out and move on. As a result of your loss, this may mean you need some professional help, but this is not the man to provide you with the shoulder you need in your time of grief. He only stuck around because of the babies, and even then, clearly didn't want to be there.

Sorry if this advice seems harsh. But he is not the person to help you heal - turn to your family, friends and a counsellor. But not him.

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