Nicole - posted on 04/06/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
Hi. I am stuck in a rock and a hard place. Hubby and I are both 26. We will be married for 2 years in August. We are expecting a baby girl in May and it is our first. Things were fine when we first met and we didn't get engaged until a year after we met. Then we waited a year to get married and then a year after marriage got pregnant. So first thing is first. Before we got pregnant my hubby wanted to have a 3way, I didn't but every time I told him I didn't like the idea he got very upset and would say things like "IF YOU DON'T WANT TO THEN TELL ME!" and very rude about it which hurt me and I came close to walking out on him. So then a week or 2 later find out I am pregnant. Had it really bad the first 3 months very sick got diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum which I guess isn't too common. Could not eat or drink anything without throwing it right back up after 5 minutes, felt like I was dying, always had to go in to get hydrated again through IV fluids, would have to stay in the hospital for weeks. Me and him went through a rough patch there too because his family didn't care, none of them came up to the hospital. My hubby didn't show much support he would come up but would stay for at the most 10 minutes. Said he didn't like seeing me on iv's but if I am your wife you should be there no matter what. Finally got over that. Things were going fine and now that the due date is getting closer I am realizing more and more I don't know if I want this life for my daughter. Back in February my father gave us 1,000 dollars to keep his moms trailer. So now it is ours and his momma still lives with us. Well now things are going down hill, we still owe Aprils rent, and the problem is they both smoke weed and his mom drinks way too much. owe 300 for smoke this week and I have explained over and over again that we got a baby on the way he can't be doing that spending, oh and I am not working right now cause my docs took me off of work for being so sick. Friday night his mom had my nephew over, she bought a 6 pack of beer and a bottle of vodka, you could tell she was kind of loopy, seen her giving my nephew a bath and she was smoking a cig while doing so, also don't know how my nephew ended up getting a hold of it but he got her shot glass and can't reach the sink so threw it in there and it broke. I don't know if I am being to uptight or not but I am scared for my daughter to be around all of this and don't want to leave my hubby permanently but thinking I need to leave for a bit until they can learn to figure out what is more important. I have tried to make this work, even asked him to go to counseling first alone and then with me but he didn't want to. He is also very controlling of me and if I am not doing this and that for him then he gets mad. Like the other day I had some kind of virus I threw up all day and felt nauseated and he says to me "I am VERY pissed at you, you don't need to end up back at the hospital" or I thought my mucus plug came out and he says really you can't do this to me right now I have to go to work so just some of the things he says hurts my feelings and isn't very comforting. Oh also found out his mom is jealous of me hahaha! I guess cause whenever he spends money on me she don't like it and me and her got into it before too cause she was drinking one night, my hubby left for work and she got in my face and started to talk lots of shit. Trust me I had to fight back every nerve in my body to not hit or punch her but I love my baby girl too much to lose her and to do something stupid so I just walked out of the house. Aslo my MIL is kind of controlling too and always has to know what I am doing like lastnight she asked me if I was talking to people on the internet or just searching and I said both but really its none of her business and I have never given them a reason to not trust me. In fact I just got back from my baby shower/my mom having surgery for a week, my family lives an hour away so I don't see them as much as I used to and I told my hubby well my friend is having her baby shower at the end of April and he says well you just were that way for a week meaning I won't be able to go back cause he won't let me. I don't know what to do I am not happy and feel like I need to leave maybe he might change but also hate to hurt him when we got our girl on the way.