Husband and I are fighting about 6 yr old daughter. All the time.

Yesi - posted on 04/27/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Help me and my husband are constantly fighting because of my 6 year old daughter. The last fight was because she didnt want to read a book because her eyes supposidly hurt after my mother ans father and law arrived to my house. I told her fine but that it was 8:30pm and to get in the shower and to bed becuase she had school tomorrow. She threw a tantrum and made herself throw up and i was very upset and spanked her and told her the way she was acting was wrong. My husband was like why did you hit her in front of my parents and my mother in law was like your crazy whats wrong with you and I told her my daughter shouldnt be acting like that instead of ya helping me with the kids ya are always judging me. My house is always clean, the kids are clean, well fed and everything I do is always wrong. They told me I was crazy and for me to shut the f up. And yelled back telling them stuff as well. At the end my mother and father in law left my house and my husband was like you are crazy and need to get out of my house and get a job. I told him no that he would call the cops on me and get me for abandonment. We have been fighting for awhile now because my daughter ill tell her no for something and she will ask my husband and he will say yes and teh she comes to me like jajaja mom i got what i wanted anway. Ive talked to him about it but he doesnt want to deal with her and hear her cry so he tells her yes. My son 2 years ols is also a handful but is less trouble and listens to me but when my husband is around he cries til my husband get tired and gives him what he wants as well. I told him to leave him or tell him he has to behave and stay in the cart when we are grocery shopping but he ends up taking him out and he has dropped things and made messes and people look at me like lady get your kids but i dont know how to control them when i try to educate them and discipline them when my husband does the opposite just so they dont cry and bother him.

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Dove - posted on 04/27/2016

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Definitely some family counseling. The two of you need to be a united front on parenting because the way things are now it is NOT fair to the children. While they should be listening and learning to behave... it really isn't their fault if they have one parent trying to stick to boundaries and the other being a free for all. They don't know HOW to act and they are caught in the middle

If I had a 6 year old up at 8:30pm they would be throwing a tantrum too because that is quite a late bedtime for a young one.

Michelle - posted on 04/27/2016

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Counseling will help if your husband is willing to listen and be on the same page as you with discipline.
Your children have already learned that it doesn't matter what you say as Dad will give in to them. He has taken away the children's respect of you by doing that. It also won't be an overnight fix.
If you want to do everything to save your marriage then counseling and parenting courses are needed. If things don't change then at least you can say you did everything you could to make it work.

Jodi - posted on 04/27/2016

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"why did you hit her in front of my parents and my mother in law"

Why did you hit her at all. Stop hitting your kid. You are demonstrating no self control.

Honestly? Your relationship is toxic. Get some couples counselling.

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Jodi - posted on 04/27/2016

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Counselling may or may not help - I can't say if it will help your relationship or not, it depends on how YOU work with it. Counselling is not a miracle answer to all your problems but it can help you working through your issues if you are willing to make changes. Marriage takes a lot of work. If both people aren't willing to work on it, then counselling won't work.

Consider some parenting courses too - you need more parenting tools in your toolbox. Consider removing privileges as an option. Let her have her tantrum in her room, just ignore it.

Yesi - posted on 04/27/2016

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Jodi-so you think with conseling things will get better? I hit her because thats how I was raised( if i didnt listen to my parents after they told me multiple times to do something, i was spanked on my bottom) i have tried time out as well but it hasnt worked for me. Thank you for your honesty and advice. I didnt think my relationship had hope.

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