husband and in laws super super closed family ties??

Sarah - posted on 04/09/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My problem is this. It is with my husband, and his family. I do not like his family. Not beacause they are the bad peolple in the community ..its just that their super closeness.. They live one hour away and when we visit (or in my case used to visit) they treat me and my daughter very differently. They all gather in the kitchen or in one room and do their thing or most of the time they want to sleep alltogether where in i feel upset cause my husband came only on weekends and its only the time for us to have privacy, but my husband wanted us to stay overnight always even if we have our house of our own...and he is mad at me when i refused to visits them that often nd stay overnight coz we have a car/house on our own.....and i feel bored when we go there because mother in law keep on avoiding me to help in the housechores while my other sis in law(the wife of my husband brother was only 5mos old in the family) allows her to cook and clean the house and i feel left out. Mother in law bad words when she was the one visiting us some times,,and when she came even if i cleaned the house keep on pointing the small flaws and never give positive comments..My husband is the eldest .
Their other family members/extended families visit my sis in law when she gave birth to their first born..while me(10 years in the family) and my 3yo daughter who was hospitalized from dengue last yr for a week(wednesday to monday)..most of them didnt showed up in the hospital ( even in our home when we where discharged ) evenjust for a minute except for mother/father/1 uncle/1 aunt in law (from my husband side) while 80 persons on my side...but the baptism of my bro in law son was being attended most of their relatives.. they treat us differently (by the way our daughter is just adopted)they have a special treatment to their newly born grandson "their full blooded ones" just compairing. The problem arises every time they asked my husband to come there to visit. I would rather stay home, but he thinks because I am his wife I should acompany him on all his family visits.I say that this is HIS family and he should visit them some other time without us or me coz i have also family/friends of my own..since now i realized they are not worth of time since they didnt pay visits to us in the hospital bed...not unlike before,,even if i will be absent in my own family gatherings to just attend to my in-law-occasions..i will but not now..bec it hurts me so much..they told us the hopsital is far away (1 hr only) but when they ask and beg for money or birthdays even if if our house is far they can come. by the way, my sis in law sis ter of husband,,always borrowed money and dress to me considering she was working and her husband is on abroad..and me housewife,,she was the one whos still ask for my new clothes and her debt didnt yet fully paid since 2007..and that debt was also hide from me for a month before i found out..my husband kept on siding their wrong actions.. My family doesn't and never has treated him this way. My family is very kind and not intruders.. Am I wrong by wanting to stay at home and being stressed by my husband and his family??.

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Julia - posted on 04/09/2013

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If he beats you then you should take your daughter and get as far away from him as possible. Leave him.

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Sarah - posted on 04/09/2013

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one more thing,my husband sister never txt or call me unless she need money or dress and keep on liking all my pics i posted on facebook..but when she didnt anything ..she just ignore me.. :(

Sarah - posted on 04/09/2013

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in addition, if honestlly opened my heart out to husband all the things i feel, experience from his family..im still the wrong one and he keep on siding them..me against the world of my husband and his family..is what i feel right now..my mother , my sister always telling me to just extend my patience bec my in laws are the super close family ties..and what can you say my allowance and my mother alowance is just the same..? pls help me what to to tell my husband about the right words toward my husband bec..i admit im very frank a nd honest about the wrong actions of in-laws ..did i mentioned that my husband most of the time beat me when im frank with him about the traits of her family? pls help me..i depressed already.. :(

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