Husband cheated while deployed and wanted divorce

Karen - posted on 08/21/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )




My husband and I been together 6 years and 4 years of marriage next month, I thought we had a great marriage we've been through ups and downs and we always pass is. So he went deployed for 9 months in Kuwait on that deployment we had arguments and fights too but like I said we always pass it. He wanted to divorce me twice while he was deployed and I always beg him to stayed and we always work it out. Then he came home 1 month ago everything was fine we were so happy everything changed, then all of sudden I caught him cheating of me with a supply girl she was in the army too they were deployed together so till he came back from us he continued the affair. The night I caught him he slept in the couch and didn't talk to me at all the next morning that's when he talked to me and he said he loves me but he cannot be with me anymore we have 2 great kids 3 and 4 years old both boys that he love him to death. My question is why when he wanted to divorce me twice while he was deployed he didn't tell me that he doesn't want to be with me or he's cheating he's just never give me reason why he wanted he just said it's better for us if we moved back home. So I left after I found out and he doesn't care at all. And now our bank account is overdraft and he only pays me 250$ for the 2 kids and still living on base. I'm really hoping to work in our marriage cause people make a mistakes he's not perfect. But now I feel like I don't have hopes anymore because he doesn't try to fix our marriage he went counseling but nothing wants to fix the marriage and he's been telling me he's going to divorce me. Please help me some advice thank you


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Michelle - posted on 08/22/2016




I agree with Ev and Sarah,
He has already made his choice and you can't change that. I suggest you go to court and get custody, visitation and child support sorted out now and move on.
Why would you want to be with a man that says he doesn't want to be with you?

LastAcorn99 - posted on 08/21/2016




I’m so sorry you’re going through this difficulty in your marriage, Karen. I hope you have a good support from family and friends as you face this challenging situation. Also, have you considered individual counseling for yourself? I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. Sending you hugs and prayers.

Sarah - posted on 08/21/2016




You cannot make him want to stay. And staying with a man you lies and cheats is only going to make you unhappy. File for divorce, child support and spousal support if you were a stay at home parent.
This wasn't a mistake; this was a betrayal of your vows that he did over and over and over. Don't you deserve better. Is this how you want to teach your sons to treat their future wives?

Ev - posted on 08/21/2016




I can tell you from experience that you can not force someone to go to counseling or to stay in a marriage they do not want. He cheated on you and you still want to be married to him? He apparently does not think highly enough of you to want to stay. You should try to go to counseling and get help through this but trying to get him to go to work on the marriage is not going to work from just you wrote here. I think its time for a divorce and to get custody, visitation and child support all court ordered.

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