Husband Doesn't Want Anymore Children

Coni - posted on 05/18/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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So I am very blessed to have a beautiful baby. Imagine my surprise when I was talking to my husband about maybe having another in a few years and he tells me flat out that he doesn't want any more. I understand why. He already has 2 children whom I love as if they were my own. But they are both much older. One will be moving out within a few years and the other doesn't live with us and we rarely see him. So our child will essentially be growing up a single child. When we were dating, I always said very clearly that I wanted 1 or 2 kids- preferably 2. He never argued about it. Before and after we had the baby, he said he would like to try for a specific gender in a few more years. Now though, he's putting his foot down. I get he has issues with the past. The mother of his first child became an addict after she gave birth and eventually passed. He's raised his son by himself all these years. And the second relationship he had ended almost immediately after she gave birth when she cheated and left him for a woman. So again, he doesn't have the best experience with marriage/newborns. He made me promise I wouldn't do as his exes had done after I had the baby and it took time for me to convince him we (and especially I) were different. I felt sure that after I had the baby and he saw how great of a mother I was and how he had nothing to fear, that he would be happy to have another baby in a few years. I'm kind of shocked now. I always envisioned myself having a large family and to be told I will only be allowed one biological child, well I'm not sure if this is something that I can accept. Anyone go through something similar?

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Dove - posted on 05/18/2016

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If you JUST had a baby... it is not the time to talk about having another. Drop the topic for a year or two and then maybe he would be willing to think about it.

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Coni - posted on 05/18/2016

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True. I wasn't trying to pressure him but I suppose just having a baby less than 6 months ago would be a bad time to start pestering about another. lol

Coni - posted on 05/18/2016

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I suppose I hadn't really decided to have another child. Just having the one is very time consuming and there are things that I like to do- travel, have time alone, etc that would be tough to do if we had more children. But the issue is it was always a possibility in my mind- that we would have more. With him saying no, it's so final. lol And then right after he said that, he started joking and asking the baby if he wanted a little brother or sister! I don't know what's wrong with him- if he's serious or if he is just nervous in the moment because we just had this baby and he can't think about having another right now.

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