Husband has a new female friend

Judith - posted on 10/26/2013 ( 10 moms have responded )

6

0

0

Husband has left home because he says I don't trust him about this new friendship he has. The friendship has been going on for over a year.

10 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

If you hadn't said he was 50 I'd say u were talking about my ex.
If he left, let him stay gone. Change the locks and file for separation. Your daughter doesn't need to learn that it's ok to allow men to cheat on them. If you don't do this for you, do it for your daughter.

Susan - posted on 10/28/2013

1

15

0

So sorry you're going through this torment! Don't let him make you feel like you instincts and "trust issues" are the demise of your relationship!!! This is a typical scapegoat that cheaters rely on when they're caught or looking for a way out. They try to make their spouse or significant other feel horrible and a fault for things taking a turn for the worst. It's crappy but its how they make them feel better about being a scumbag. "It wasnt my fault because she had trust issues!" Blah blah blah...cry me a fricken' river! He's an ass and you deserve MUCH better! Be practical, keep things civil for the sake of your precious daughter, and kick his butt to the curb if he continues to try and make you the bad guy!!stay strong and trust your gut! You will get through this!!

Judith - posted on 10/27/2013

6

0

0

Don't think its going anywhere he has already walked out won't come back, plus I've been finding different coloured hair in my washing for weeks now I think it says it all. Had the first chance to meet the other woman today she said I was sad and that it was all a misunderstanding and walked off, so what does that tell me are they both in denial or did i really get it wrong.

Joanne - posted on 10/27/2013

3

50

1

Any person in a relationship shouldnt have anything to hide! but as we grow and learn we find this to be sometimes the total reverse! You know if something has changed! trust your instincts or THIS man, and not an ex, meaning dont carry on a trust issue is an ex has cheated on you! go with this relationship! As I said you would know if something has changed! Any person in a relationship has the right to ask about a change etc, It shows your concerned about the relationship and trying to work things out! but changing emails etc just makes it more suspicious to the concerned partner! Be truthful about your feelings, if something dont feel right then do something about it! If the other partner aint putting in the work to make it work etc! then im sorry but your fighting a losing battle! therefore time to move on, not east sometimes no, but better in the long run before bitterness sets in... and thats not healthy for anyone... If it was me I would focus on my Child and make sure she doesnt get caught up in it all etc... Good luck :D

Judith - posted on 10/26/2013

6

0

0

Yes we have a d who is 5, my husband is 50, this woman is younger. He denies an affair but why has he changed his password on his email account and keeps his phone with him all the time, why did he not come on our holiday with us, why withhold sex for 5 months, its all to crazy.

Jodi - posted on 10/26/2013

3,561

36

3907

I must admit, it does sound overly defensive. I would say that there is more going on. But that is just my opinion from what you have said, so it may not be terribly objective. However,, if he has made it clear he is not willing to work on your relationship and he just wants out, there isn't a lot you can control here. Maybe it is a situation you just have to accept. Are there children involved?

Judith - posted on 10/26/2013

6

0

0

I haven't mentioned counselling I know he wouldn't want to go, he just wants out, he says he's done with it all. This girl has blocked me on fb and now has closed her page altogether. He denies everything gets angry storms out walks away, before he left he slept on the sofa for weeks and when he did leave he went to her house.

Jodi - posted on 10/26/2013

3,561

36

3907

That sounds suspicious. I am assuming you have had conversations about this, and why you find it strange? Have the two of you considered counselling? If he really wanted to understand your view and you really wanted to understand his, this could work. But if he IS actually cheating on you, that may explain his defensiveness, and he may avoid counselling.

Judith - posted on 10/26/2013

6

0

0

He has been working on charity projects with her, emailing her going to her home for church meetings going on walks, she is a high ranking church person young and single, He has withheld all intimacy for 5 months he didn't even come on our family holiday he stayed home. He says I have trust issues I have never met this woman and he won't let me meet her.

Jodi - posted on 10/26/2013

3,561

36

3907

OK, i'd need a bit more information. Just the fact that he has a female friend doesn't mean something is going on. There has to be more signs than just her being female.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms