Husband has no concern for money, then get mad when we can't pay our bills.

Jennifer - posted on 02/12/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Married. I have one child, husband has 3 from previous marriage and we have one on the way (a surprise baby :) lol). Aside from child support, we are on a "budget" or even if you would call it that. I manage the finances or try to. He gets his kids every other weekend, and I get my kid every other weekend & week. Whevenr he has his kids, all he does is spend money on them. I tell him our projected finances for the month ahead and tell him we cannot spend more than so and so on misc items. When he gets his kids he always goes over that by a lot. Then he gets mad at me when we don't have money to buy groceries. He tells me I don't know how to manage finances and that he needs to do it. If I buy my kid anything (like new pants because her old don't fit) he gets so mad at me and says I spoil her. For her birthday I brought her to build a bear to make a bear and took her out to eat (no more than $30)...he got mad. He took his daughter out and spent over $180 in the course of 2 hours and the week before took his son out and spend over $100 for his. I can't even buy myself a friggin maturnity shirt and when I get frustrated and upset he says we will be fine. I don't feel like it though. All the money I never buy myself anything and rarely buy my child anything unless she needs it. He goes out crazy all the time with his kids and then gets mad when I tell him we can afford out bills. I think he should do the finances for once and see what it is like, after all I am "doing it all wrong"

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Margo - posted on 02/12/2014

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Do not let him do the finances. Keep on track. Give him the figures let him calculate it. Ask him is it fair to divide the money between each child same amount for birthdays Christmas vacation etc. If he says no. His children are more important. GO SEE A COUNSELOR IMMEDIATELY
Free counseling at a local church by the pastors I highly recommend.
Show him don't tell him maybe he gets defensive. I know it is hard to cut corners but he needs to think about cars college and the future baby.
have to eat at home every night. Can't buy anything unless it on sale.
use coupons at groc.store. go to the church again and ask for food they give families in need every month bags of food according o family size it's no shame to need a little help.
buy a shirt at salvation army. Noone will know the diffrence. Baby stuff again church. Go there. They want to help and will baptize etc. They are in the business of saving souls and families.
Keep a tight grip on the credit cards.
don't close them it hurts your credit profile. Just stop putting high charges on them use it for 10 dollars in gas. Then pay it off. It helps your credit immensely.
Do what my sister in law does and Give that man an allowance! !!!
GIVE HIM AN ALLOWANCE.he will hate it. But he will think you later. Keep the money in the bank in your name only if you have to protect it. Get him to counting if you have to.
tell him you love him but this is for the good of the family.
don't let him continue with bad habits and don't put him down. As I'm sure you dont. It sounds like your doing good. But he needs a budget for sure!

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