Husband having daddy problems

Amber - posted on 09/12/2015 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My husband is a great dad but he can't do anything without my help. I'll ask him to get our son ready for bed while I clean and then I end up having to do everything. Sometimes I can't even count on him to change poopy diapers! If my son is crying I have to get him and soothe him because his dad can't. I am never separated from my baby, I never ever get a break. Advice please!

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Jodi - posted on 09/12/2015

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But it might be the way you are communicating with him. You are coming from one perspective, him from another. I am not saying it is your "fault" he is not understanding, but I am suggesting that you try to have the conversation in a different way. Maybe some counselling would be helpful for the two of you if this is an issue that is really affecting your this badly.

Jodi - posted on 09/12/2015

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Try to have the conversation when you are not mad at him. And also listen to HIS perspective as well. This is the best way to come up with a compromise and have a calm conversation.

Jodi - posted on 09/12/2015

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Amber, you can't just "tell" him he's going to have to learn. That is not a two way conversation. It shouldn't be about you telling him what to do. It needs to be a discussion that you BOTH have contribution to and to respect each other's view points on the matter and come to a compromise that will work for both of you. Telling him he's going to have to learn is not the same as explaining to him how you feel about being on call 24/7 and feeling like you need a break sometimes and how much you would really appreciate if he could assist with giving you this break occasionally. There are ways to approach this that will evoke a better response than others. You need to work on your communication.

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Amber - posted on 09/12/2015

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Thank you for all of your advice, and he agrees with you about how I go about things and I do think we need some counciling big time. Communication is a huge problem of most of our issues.

Amber - posted on 09/12/2015

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I didn't grow up in the best environment and I'm still trying to learn how to do things right like talk to be people.

Amber - posted on 09/12/2015

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It might be, sometimes I just get so mad at him I yell not meaning to. No matter how I try to explain it doesn't go through his thick skull. Do you have any suggestions as to how to approach it differently?

Amber - posted on 09/12/2015

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I've tried telling him he's gonna have to learn because I won't always be able to help him

Jodi - posted on 09/12/2015

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Maybe it's time to sit down with dad and talk to him about how you feel.

Jodi - posted on 09/12/2015

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Is your husband ASKING for your help or are you just assuming the role to help rather than letting dad do things his way?

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