K - posted on 10/30/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )
Can some on please help me I don't know what to do? The story is I thought I met the love of my life when I married for the second time but now I don't know. I have 2 little boys we raise them together my oldest is not for my husband but my husband is the only dad he knows and my son doesn't know that my husband isn't his real daddy because he was really little when we got together. My problem is that I feel my husband is harder on our oldest 12 than on our 7 yr even before we had our youngest he seemed to be so hard and harsh with him compared to my step kids. He is so ugly to him don't get me wrong he can be loving to him but not often and he lets our you gets get away with murder and is always telling him he's daddies little boy and loving on him but doesn't do that with our oldest. My oldest is always asking why does daddy get mad at him for things and not his brother even when it's something that his brother knows not to do. Like my youngest can be jumping around the living room making all kind of noise while we are watching tv and when a commercial comes on the oldest will ask a question are make a statement and my husband will jump all over him but never got mad at the youngest for all of his jumping,talking, and noise during the show. And when he fusses the oldest he's so harsh, rude, and looks like he could eat him but he's not like that with the youngest. My oldest boy is ADHD but for the most part he's a good kid. When my step kids were younger and would come over for a weekend if my step son witch was 7 years older that my then 2 yr old would get mad at the 2 yr old my husband would get mad at him to and everything got blamed on my 2 yr old even after we caught my stepson yelling at the 2 yr old for something he wasn't doing we were watching my husband still would take my stepsons word and fuse or whip the 2 yr old it would kill me. But now my step kids are older and dont come over now my son is still getting in trouble every time his little brother gets mad or screems my husband always takes the youngest ones word now it seems my oldest just cant win for loosing. And now he's undermining me with my youngest I have been trying to get my youngest to controll his temper and stop hitting and today one of my oldest sons friends was over here playing and he started playing keep away with my youngest sons drink and instead of coming tell my youngest halled of and hit him well when they came in and told me what happen I fused at my sons friend and told him to joke a little is ok but once you are asked to stop then stop the my little boy is alot younger and he shouldn't mess with him that way . I then told my son and his friend to go back out side and kept my little one in and had a talk with him about hitting someone out of anger when they just make you mad but don't touch you . This is far from the first time he hits hes got a terrible temper my husband somehow doesn't notice and is always hitting are yelling . So I told my youngest that hitting is not ok unless you are defending your self and he needs to controll his anger. Well later that night while I wasn't around my husband praised him for hitting. I think he is ruining my 2boys the oldest is so insecure and will grow up to hate him and my youngest is going to be a selfish little bully with a really bad temper problem like his dad. I don't know what to do?