Husband is deployed and acting strange

Sheree - posted on 11/09/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I joined this site after a Google search about Military wives whos husbands just all of a sudden want a divorce. Well this is my situation right now. I married my husband on September 9, 2000. We have 4 kids, one I had before we met and 3 together. My youngest is only a year and a half.

My husband was deployed to Bahrain in May of this year and we were really sad that he had to be away from us for so long. I've been through 3 boat deployments with this man and other debts etc. On October 24th he sent me an email saying how much he loved me and the kids and how he could have never gotten anywhere in life without us. He said that I made him a better man and that he not only loved me but was in love with me. Then on October 29th I get an email saying just let me know how the kids are doing that's ALL I've been thinking about more and more... So I was wondering what was up because he always told me that he loved me as well. I asked him what was up, then I get "I don't know what's going to happen with us but we just need to make sure we take care of the kids.

"WTF? That's all I have been doing for years. Taking care of the family unit. I've always been there for him. I'm so heartbroken right now. I feel as if the wind has been let out of me. I'm trying to be strong for the kids and I feel like I'm drifting through day to day like a zombie just trying to get things done. We went through something similar like this when I was 5 months pregnant with our first sun. He was in Florida on a debt then all of a sudden he hated me and the baby was a mistake. I'm so sick of going through this. I fought for our marriage before and got it back on track now this? He swears up and down that he's not cheating on me but what am I to think?

My kids have started to act out because he hasn't skyped or tried to call to talk to them. If it's all about the kids then what the hell is he think he's doing by not calling to at least talk to them?

I feel so broken and tired by him that I'm just too tired to fight anymore. I can’t believe he’s doing this to me again.

He is the sole provider for the family and he's taking money out that I need to pay bills, important bills like utilities, car payment, mortgage, etc. He says he's done with me so why should OUR kids have to suffer? I have no one to talk to as most of my family has passed away. Just last month I lost my Grandmother and she was the only family I had left. Now after 12 years and 3 kids I’m afraid the next email (If I even get an email) is that he wants a divorce.

I just don't know what to do any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Holly - posted on 11/09/2012

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I completely understand... remember that since you have kid's with him, that he WILL have to pay you child support. and half of ya'lls property is yours in the divorce.and there is even some instances that you get spousal support too. look into all this... get a lawyer, talk to them about all of this.

Sheree - posted on 11/09/2012

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I would Holly, I really would if we actually had the money to do that. I've been homeless before, actually a couple of times in my life and I'm so scared and I don't want my kids to have to experience this.

Holly - posted on 11/09/2012

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I am so very sorry! if i were you i'd start taking money out and putting it into a private account. one he doesn't know about. but not so much that he'd start wondering where it went.

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