Lisa - posted on 09/08/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )
Hi ladies. I am here out of desperation. I'm really struggling with my husband, who is out of control with his level of overprotection over our 14 month old son. I will try to summarize my current situation as best as I can.
Our son is our first child. My husband is a native of South America, and hasn't seen his family in a number of years. I am attuned to the fact that the baby and me are all he has, and could be the source of the overprotection. But I am struggling so badly with the situation that I have been contemplating asking him to leave. It pains me to say that I've even considered that.
I've been reading other forums where moms are complaining about the same thing, and people usually respond with things like "aww it's cute he just wants the best for you and the baby", but I feel his behavior is way over the "cute" line, and it's borderline emotionally abusive to me.
I am beginning to resent him, and feel that he has robbed me of the joy of first time motherhood because I am constantly walking on eggshells and terrified that every move I make will be second guessed and picked apart. I've tried to talk to his best friend and he agrees with me, but also knows that there is nothing I can say or do to change it. My husband is very stubborn. I know that I need to have some kind of talk with him, but I am honestly dreading it because I'm pretty sure I know the outcome. But I am miserable.
I don't even know what I am asking for by this post. I guess I'm mostly just word vomiting because I have no one to talk to. I'm afraid to talk to my friends because I don't want them to know how bad the situation is. I've opened up to my Mom a little bit and she has seen the behavior and has been victim of it as well.
I feel tricked almost. He wasn't like this before the baby was born. I had know way of knowing this was the type of parent he was going to be, and how he would treat me as the mother of our child. I just want to cry. I know we all have expectations of how we think things will be, and it's disappointing when those expectations aren't met. But this is way beyond anything I imagined.
I don't even know what else to say or do. This is what keeps happening. Every day I think things will change, or that today will be the day that I confront him and then I just get so sick to my stomach thinking about how upset I am and how upset I will be when we have the conversation and he tells me he doesn't care how I feel and then I will be forced with having to deal with the situation. Wow...I'm really losing it.