Ariel - posted on 01/22/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )
I am hoping to get some support and advice from moms who have been in similar situations. I know far too many women go through this. :(
My husband and I have been together for 3 1/2 years and married for 2 months. We have a 4 month old baby (we have been planning the marriage for a long time, it just happened that we married right after our son was born).
He has always had issues with smoking weed since I've known him and has a felony for weed. I of course thought he changed, but 5 days after we brought our son home from the hospital he started smoking again. I BEGGED him not to but of course he just got mad and eventually I started smoking with him occasionally just to try to keep the peace in a messed up way. :(
About a month or so ago, I finally told him (after several pleas to get him to stop and get help...he has mental issues as well...anxiety, BAD anger, mood swings, etc) that it was NOT ok to have an illegal substance in the house with our baby. And that it was not good for him to be smoking anyways because if he gets caught again, it is PRISON since he already has a felony and is on unsupervised probabtion right now. Things blew up and he finally left, saying he couldn't handle all the arguing anymore. I know it takes two to tango, but honestly all of the arguments lately were started because he would snap or yell at me for something stupid, or I was telling him his illegal behavior was not good. He's living with some stoner friends now who only reinforce the idea he's being a great father and I am crazy and just argue with him all the time, and that smoking weed is no big deal, etc.
His parents have decided to break ties with him until he can get clean. They've done SOOOO much for him and all he does is treat them like crap and they are done.
I don't know if I should try to offer help again? He agreed one night (while high) to go to treatment then the next day got angry and refused. He hasn't made any effort to see our son or anything like that..he was starting to get violent & verbally and almost physically abusive (threats) and he felt bad for that and that is partly why he left. Of course needless to say when he is not using he's an amazing person and that's why I am so upset. I don't know what to do--stop talking to him til he gets clean? Try to help more?
Please, I am going crazy and feel I am not taking care of my son very well. I have to have my inlaws & my mother help me all the time. I work full time and an barely getting through each day. I feel like I want to die, but know my son needs me.