Husband not ready for a baby anytime soon. What should I do?

Donna - posted on 05/31/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am 32 yrs old & recently talked to my husband about going off the pill & switching to condoms & he said no. He told his friends a year ago that he wanted me to be off the pill at least a year before having kids. I asked him when he thought I should go off the pill & he couldn’t give me a straight answer. I want to start trying to get pregnant right after I graduate with my MBA degree next year. I work at a job that I love but I don’t make a ton of money. He said, maybe after I find a better paying job we could try to get pregnant. I have been trying to find a higher paying over a year now, w/no luck. We own a home, r financially secure & have traveled a ton. He wants me to be a stay at home mom once we have kids & I want that too. He wants 2 kids but I don’t want to get pregnant after 35 because of all the health risks. I think he doesn’t always mean what he says or is uncertain he wants kids w/ me. Not having kids is a deal breaker for me & if I had known I would have still been waiting at this point in our relationship I would have never started dating him in the first place. When we first starting dating I told him I wasn’t interested in dating anyone exclusively unless they wanted kids soon & he said he felt the same. I know that may sound harsh but I feel if he meant what he said about wanting kids, he would want to get me pregnant while I still could. My biggest fear is waiting too long & not being able to have kids & him then leaving me because I know not being having kids of his own is a deal breaker for him too.

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Michelle - posted on 06/01/2013

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What is his real reason for not wanting to start a family? I hear that he wants more financial stability, you to get a better paying job (how does that come into it when you won't be working), etc but they aren't viable reasons from what you have written.
Is he scared to become a Father? A lot of men that keep putting it off do it because they don't think they will be "Good Dad's" and are scared.
I think you really need to have a heart to heart (not just a chat) and tell him how you feel. Let him know about having children later and the risks to yourself and baby.

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