Husband's Ex-Wife

Michelle - posted on 10/13/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My step sons mom is never around even though she lives in the same city. We have gone to her job so he can see her and she tells him she can't get him this weekend even tough she signed court papers 5 years ago beggin the courts for visitation. Once she has a new man in her life he means nothing to her. Christmas & Mothers Days she says NO to see him. She also has a drug problem and I am ok with her not being around however my stepson wants his mother. He also has 2 half sisters that his grandma is raising. My ss mother doesn't raise any of the 3 kids or help with support. I have been raising him since he was 5 and I can count one 2 hands the amount of times she has picked him up. I have sent her several messages telling her its been months and he just wants to see her. She tells me "Thank you for raising my son." that is it. He is now a teenager and has a facebook to see how is mom is doing. She has another life and is living this great lifestyle. Now my husband posted on FB that she is heartless and stop making there son cry. So she said to her son that we keep him from her which is a lie. Whats crazy is that my step sons says its true and we are keeping her from him. He has called her and she changed her number w/out telling us. He has to call his older sister to get it. Plus the girls smoke and drink and are 16 and 14. They blame there mom but he thinks she is perfect. How do I get his mine home and to remember all the bad she has caused?

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Ariana - posted on 10/13/2012

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The last thing you want to do is start going at him about how terrible his mother is. If someone is going to say something, it should be his father, and it should only be the absolute facts. His mom is a part of him and saying she's bad is like saying he's bad. Which you and I know isn't true but to kids (and teens) it's a difficult concept to truly accept.



What's easier for a teenager to believe, his Dad and step-mom are keeping him from his mom or that his mom doesn't care enough to talk to him?



If he really believes you and your husband are purposefully keeping him from his mother get his Dad to sit him down and tell him that he is more than willing have him visit his mom. Go over any things you've done to get him to speak to her. Don't get into how horrible she is or how she's avoiding him just make it clear that you are willing to have him see her and are in no way keeping it from happening.



I would get your son a councellor to talk to about all this. It's really difficult for a child to accept that their mom isn't interested and to figure out that it isn't a reflection of him.

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