July - posted on 05/25/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )
My five year old son was babysat for one or two afternoons/evenings a month by my husband's ex-wife between the ages of 1-4. She and my husband have a 22 year old (I met him when he was 15) who wasn't close to his father at the time and lived with his mother so it was a way for the brothers to get together more. We also did Christmas's and birthdays together as we have virtually no relatives amongst us, trying to create a kind of extended family. The trouble is, she bonded with my son too much. I tried not to rock the boat for too long (felt pressure not to endanger my husband's relationship with his older son), but eventually lost it with her and told her she needed to back off my son. She basically hasn't talked to me for two years and my son is upset that she is not longer part of the family. She still bonds like crazy with him every chance she gets (my stepson ends up getting together with her and my son from time to time), and my husband supports her saying it was my fault for losing my temper. My son and stepson see it the same way. My son is very hurt by this. He even told me he has two moms and the husband's ex is also his mom.
I see the mistakes I have made in the past (not speaking up about my feelings, not setting boundaries better). Assuming she is going to continue not speak to me, what can you suggest?