Husband stops in the middle of sex to argue

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

I need some advice , when my son was born my husband was unfaithful to me it has been very hard moving past it in still working on it ever since the incident happened every time my husband and I have sex he will stop and start saying that I'm not enjoying it and that he thinks I'm fan tiding and thinking about someone else which none of that is true. This did stop for about a month and now we are at it again I really don't no what to do I mean like 5 mins in he stops and starts saying the same stuff every time and then any mood is gone and it just feels awkward its to the point that I am having a hard time even getting into it anymore because I know once we star he is going to stop to argue I don't no if he is just not into me but after he was unfaithful once and I have had suspicions other times I don't no what to do has anyone else ever had this kind of thing happen ??

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Jodi - posted on 07/30/2015

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What he is doing is emotional abuse. I would suggest that the two of you get some counselling. There are clearly issues in your relationship that need to be resolved, and you have not gotten over him cheating. This is not a recipe for a happy relationship, so perhaps it is time to resolve it one way or the other.

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[deleted account]

Honestly I can't even say for sure if he is being faithful now he is always making comments about me having a boyfriend or that when he goes to work I have guys over , which is so far from the truth then when we have sex he accuses me while we are doing it , I don't no how much more of being accused i can take , and to be honest I really have not gotten over him being unfaithful I had our youngest son almost 6 weeks early and had to stay an hour from home with him in the nicu in the time my husban had started going on the plenty of fish website and ended up meeting a girl on there I don't no if I'll ever forgive him for it but I have been trying I feel I owe that to my kids . I have continued to feel that there is more going on but I can't get the truth out of him if I say anything at all about anything he does he turns it around on me

Michelle - posted on 07/29/2015

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My ex husband would always accuse me of being unfaithful when it was actually him!
Jodi has a point, a lot of people who are guilty of something will accuse others of it instead of admitting it.
I personally couldn't get past my ex cheating on me (while I was pregnant).

Jodi - posted on 07/29/2015

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You know, accusations toward YOU of being unfaithful by fantasising about another man brings up so many red flags. Are you certain he is currently being faithful to you?

Sarah - posted on 07/29/2015

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Then go to the therapist by yourself. In the meantime get out of the house and find something to do with the kids, go to the library (always lots of moms) join a gym and put the kids in the daycare.
You need to decide if you will continue to live like this. IMO, cheaters continue to cheat and you can either tolerate it or leave. If he refuses therapy, he can't change his ways. Every marriage goes thru low points, and when my kids were little our sex life suffered in the passion department for sure. We had to work on that and is was awkward but with time it improved. I was never unsure of my spouses fidelity and I don't know what I'd do if he did cheat.

[deleted account]

Yea he was unfaithful once that I no of and and acouple times before that I was suspicious I don't get it either I am 100% faithful to him and always have been I have also never given him even a reason to dought me considering I am a stay at home mom of 3 and literally have no friends since I had my 6 year old when we go out anywhere he is more exited and engaged in talking to any other woman other then me when it's just us we sit awkwardly , but I don't no how much more I can take I mean this may sound funny but we have not had passionate or even loving sex in almost a year and for 9 months before that i was pregnant and felt he didn't want to touch me the only sex we have is awkward and doesn't go longer then half hour because he starts arguing then I just want to turn over and go to sleep I have suggested therapy and he wants no part of it

Sarah - posted on 07/29/2015

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Wait I don't get it, he was unfaithful. Now, he stops during foreplay and says YOU are fantasizing about another man? He uses that as an excuse to stop the activity?
Have you seen a marriage counselor? You guys need to clear the air because there is something else going on.

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