Husband thinks it's time I get a job

Susan - posted on 01/14/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

9

0

5

I have been a sahm for the last 8yrs. I have an 8 yr old son and a 4 yr old son. My husband says i need to start looking into finding a job come this fall when my 4 yr old starts kindergarten. He doesn't give me credit or understand that staying at home is hard work. I never have a day off. I do everything around our house. He doesn't even through his trash away. He leaves it for me to clean up. I take care of our kids the majority of the time myself. When he is home he is usually playing games on his phone. He makes a six figure income and we have money saved in the bank. But he is not happy and it's not enough apparently. He has told me my time is up. I've had it good for plenty of years. This makes me want to punch him in the face. He makes me feel like im not good enough because i dont bring home a paycheck. I feel like he would rather be married to someone who made as much money as he does. He has made multiple commets to me that if I was bringing home six figures like him we could afford a bigger more expensive house. I think he's an asshole for treating me this way. but I don't know why he does. I really wish he respected me more.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Amber - posted on 01/15/2016

98

0

9

I agree with michelle. I'll be praying for you some patients and strength. Lord knows I would have knocked him across the room. Good luck and I wish the best!

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2016

4,568

8

3247

You need to both sit down and have a talk. Obviously he thought you would be returning to work after the children started school. If you had no intention of doing so then it's a conversation that should have been had a long time ago.
You may even benefit from seeing a marriage counselor to help him with the way he's treating you. He is bordering on abusive (me ex did exactly the same for years and I worked part time!) and he needs to learn how to treat his wife.

6 Comments

View replies by

Sarah - posted on 01/17/2016

10,415

0

26

When you first had kids what was the plan for your career? Originally, did you agree to go back to work whenever your youngest started school? Have you discussed full vs. part time? Who will watch the kids? Even my job as a school nurse has required the help of some after school care and a sitter and I have a schedule that parallels the school calendar closely.
why do you think it is so important to your husband that you go back to work? Especially if you can afford to continue to parent full time. You may find that a part time job while your kids are at school is actually enjoyable. However, it needs to be a discussion and a process that you agree up one together. If my hubby had said to me, "times up go back to work" I'd have been furious too. At the end of your life, you will not look back and wish you had worked more, you will wish you had spent more time with your kids.

Susan - posted on 01/15/2016

9

0

5

I feel like what I'm doing now is work. Even though I don't bring home a paycheck I'm still contributing to the household. I think the way he talks to me is degrading and disrespectful. It makes me feel really bad about myself like i'm not good enough because i don't earn money outside the home. I'm not against working. I worked my whole life until I got pregnant with my first child. I'm just happy doing what I've been doing the last 8 yrs. I really have no other interest to do anything else. My day feels full enough as it is. Plus like I said he makes good money so I'm not understanding his push for me to get a job.

Michelle - posted on 01/14/2016

4,568

8

3247

I've been in both positions and I actually prefer to work and help contribute the household income.
Are you against working or just the way he said it?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms