Husband wants another baby.......... Our only son is 8

Lisa - posted on 06/26/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Is our son to old for us to think of having another baby. He is an only child. I turn 37 in a few weeks, my husband is 38. Is it fair on our son to think of having another baby. I have wanted another baby since my son was born. But now have we waited to long and is the age gap going to be to big if we have another child?

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/27/2013

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Of course it is ok. Yeah there will be an age gap, but really it has nothing to do with the age of your son. If you and your husband want another child, do it. My sister and I are 10 years apart, and we are very close. If you raise them to be friends, and to take care of each other, with lots of love and attention to the both of them, it will be fine. If you raise them to resent them being so far apart in age, or jealous of one another, then the results will be obvious.

Lisa - posted on 06/26/2013

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Thanks Sarah. I understand a big age gap. I was not a planned baby but much loved by both my parents and my 3 older siblings. My brothers were 18 and 16, and my sister was 14 when I was born. I was very close to two of them but until a few years back had very little to do with the oldest. Maybe it is a case of we try and if we are meant to have another it will happen if we're not then I guess we will have our answer

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Joy - posted on 06/28/2013

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This post has made me feel better!! I currently have a 10 1/2 year old son, who will be 11, when his little sibling is born this coming February. This is something I have been wondering about myself.....And while he seems excited and looking forward to it, and has enjoyed tossing around names with my husband and I. I have been second guessing myself about am I cheating him out of something bringing a little baby into his life now. But the more I think about it, I feel the age difference will really benefit them, and like a previous poster said, we are planning on still having quality one on one time with our older son, to make sure he doesn't feel neglected.......

Eve - posted on 06/27/2013

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For the past few years, everytime we ask our 8-yr-old what she wants for her birthday/Christmas gift, she says "a baby brother/sister." Lo and behold, her wish will come true! Everyone thinks my daughter might be jealous and resent the baby because SHE was our baby for 8 yrs. I seriously doubt it. I know she'll be a very good big sister because she's become so overprotective already! Imagine an 8-yr-old constantly reminding her mom to eat healthy, not to get stressed out, and even being careful not to squeeze too tightly when hugging because she doesn't want to hurt the baby! I also think that at this age, she is secure enough in her self-identity and the big age gap means they will have different interests so hopefully they won't feel they're in competition with each other. My husband and I even plan to have one-on-one "dates" with our 8-yr-old so that she will still feel special, instead of feeling like everything revolves around the new baby.

Lisa - posted on 06/26/2013

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Thank you for your answer. Nice to her from a parent who only has one child my sons age. Our son would love to be a big brother. He is so good with his youngest cousin who is 21 months. As loved being around her since she was little. I have always had in the back of my mind that our son who is very healthy and doing really well at school and in some cases way above his age level was a still born. The doctors and nurses got him to breath three and a half minutes after he was born but he turned blue while I was holding him and ended up spending 11 days in neo natual. It didn't bother me until my very supportive husband said he wanted another baby and I though of my age and wondered if it would be a problem.

Sarah - posted on 06/26/2013

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I have a 15 yr old, a 12 yr old, and a 2 yr old......Many people look at us strange or ask if the 2 yr old was planned, or for those that don't know us ask if it was a remarriage. I just smile and laugh and say yep she was planned and nope not a remarriage. Then I go on to say that I have had the most fun with that age gap! My older two love and adore her and still to this day fight over who gets to hold her. They love to teach her things and love it when she copies them.

Talk with your son. Find out how he feels. I was 35 yrs old when I had my 2 yr old. We are still planning on having another in a couple of years....I will be 38 yrs old then. There are many people that have kids well into their 40's. You will also find many other families that have big age gaps between their kids. I have a friend that has 3 kids and she planned 7 yrs between each one. They liked it that way, so they were able to give each child the one-on-one time. It is also nice when they get older and are in activities. When they are close in age you are juggling activities and often times they over lap each other. When they are spread out more in age then the activities tend to not overlap as much.

Firebird - posted on 06/26/2013

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My 8 year old daughter is always bugging me to have another baby. She too is an only child. Maybe you and your husband should ask your son what he thinks about it.

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