Allison - posted on 11/13/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )
Hi fellow moms! This is my first post and I am at witts end. I have stayed home since my first child was born. I worked a typical job from 9a-6pm prior to that and as a couple we decided for me to stay home...I didnt make enough to warrant paying for childcare. Fast forward 12 years later and we have a 12 year old boy, and 3 girls ages 9,7,5. With 4 kids it is plenty busy. Now all my kids are in school my youngest gets home from kindergarden before noon and the others get home at 255p and 4pm. I am plenty busy around the house..I clean, shop, run errands, cook, do projects like put up trim work , paint, etc. I am very handy and proud of it..and enjoy making our home a home. We purchased a vacation home a year and a half ago and am able to go w the family for every school holiday break and summer...with my husband going back and forth in the summer. We have a comfortable living..not rich but smart with our money for our dreams. Husband does well and has a company he is starting..so he is constantly frazzled and blames me if ANything goes wrong. He has no time w our kids..doesn't throw a ball w my son, or spend time with the kids besides watching tv for an hour or so at night. He disrespects me , by rolling his eyes if I ask him to help with for example putting up a light, or taking the hose in for the winter etc..normal everyday house stuff...he has no time for. He works from home so I feel like he is always watching me. I took at nap 2 times this year when the kids were in school and he makes comments.."must be nice"....."what are you so tired from"? I found out this past march he was having an affair with a female co worker for a year...he travled about every 3 weeks a month and wined and dined her w the company credit card of course...lied and told me he was going to california at one point and actually flew to seattle area for the weekend and stayed w her..when I asked he originally told me he was going to cali....but wasn't sure. I eventually found out via emails when I got into his computer and texts. He broke it off w her and switched jobs in the same field, just different company. We never went to counseling and he gave me all access to pins facebook , ids etc. I have seen nothing more except in august he went to a concert w friends when I was in florida w all my kids and he sent a drunk pic of himself to me and to her.....Asked about it and he doesn't remember. He has called me a bitch in the past..said f you,,good luck finding someone ..you have 4 kids.....no job etc. Makes me feel worthless. Has been ok at times but now he is telling me to get a job...what are your dreams..no ambition etc. I am quite happy being there for my kids and keeping a home. I am a great mother ....take care of all the bills etc..everything to make his life easy. But I am worthless at times if I don't agree w him...no respect..he told me after the affair he doesn't respect me....advice please?