Husband wants to move to his home state but I don't

User - posted on 03/30/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband & I have been married for 9 years. We have a 14 year old daughter & a 5 year old son. My daughter is from my first marriage but he has never been in her life & my husband legally adopted her shortly after we were married. We met & currently live in Phoenix but he is originally from Montana & I am originally from N.J. When we got married we never talked about moving but husband always talked highly about the state he grew up in. My husband has brought up quite a few times over the last few years how he would like to move back to his home state & even more so now that our son is getting older for he wants him around his family. I have no desire to move & most importantly for our daughter who is in high school & do not feel it would be fair to move her in the middle of high school. I also have no desire to move to Montana, it is beautiful but I feel Phoenix has so much more for our life as well as for our kids. We are both in hospitality & I have looked for jobs in Montana just to see & find nothing comparable to what we do here. My husband does not have many friends & seems depressed to live here but also does not do much to seek happiness & I do not feel moving will be the answer. I know he wants to be by his family but we are his family too. I am not looking for one of us to win & one of us to lose but not sure what the compromise is?

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User - posted on 03/30/2015

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Thanks for your reply! A big concern I have is our 14 year old daughter who is a freshman in high school & is very involved in our church & school. I know we are the parents but I do feel high school years are a very hard time to move & just for the sake of moving.

Jackalope - posted on 03/30/2015

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Maybe you could compromise and move to a state that is in between AZ and Montana. That way hell be closer to family like he wants, and you might possibly find a job that's even better than what you have now. Talk to him about it. Let him know your concerns and let him tell you what his feelings are. Good luck!

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