Kmj14 - posted on 08/19/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )
To make a really long story short my husband was engaged before we met and the engagement fell through because the girl cheated on my husband and it didn't work out. She was crazy about my nephew but my nephews mom (sister-in-law) was not crazy about the ex girlfriend. They never had a relationship or really got along. My sister in law has used the phrase to me "I didn't not like her". So I was extremely surprised when my husbands ex was posting pictures of herself with my nephews and niece recently. And I've been informed by both m mother in law and sister in law that they are close friends now and my sister in law is going to be in her wedding in January. I feel extremely confused and disappointed because this has been discussed by my husband And my in laws with both my brother/sister in law and the relationship is continuing to grow. My husband and I are not invited to the same events as friends but the ex and her new fiancé are. Therefore it's effecting our relationship with them greatly. Not to mention it's hurtful to both my husband and myself. This has been progressing over the past year and a half. But the entire time my sister in law has told us that they don't talk about my husband and I and that it's purely friendship based.
When our little girl was born the ex girlfriend said that the name we chose was the name my husband chose with her and spread that into our family. Which was a red flag that in my opinion this is not a friendship for her it's out of spite of my husband and I.
This past weekend I had a talk with my sister in law about why my husband and her are no longer close as they used to be. I told her that it did have some to do with the whole ex thing. So my sister in law continued to tell me that she thinks we should go to dinner just her, the ex girlfriend and myself to hash this out. And on top of everything it was said by the ex that for the first time (over the past two years) a week ago she saw a picture of my husband and didn't feel sad or confused anymore. So it is clear to me that this ex girlfriend is not friends with my sister in law for a friendship I feel it's very vindictive.
I don't want a relationship with the ex girlfriend and I really disagree with the choice of my brother and sister in law choosing a relationship with her over my husband and I.
I'm feeling like until this is something that changes I have no interest in spending time or holidays with any of the people on my husbands side that are supporting or keeping opinions to themselves. I feel it's disrespectful to my husband on many levels and uncomfortable for me. I feel our personal family issues/business is being shared with this woman and I'm not interested in being a part of this situation any longer. Can anyone relate? Any advice or views? I'm not one to make excuses for others I believe in family being loyal and I believe in respect. I feel that the entire situation is against my beliefs and what I want in my life and my little girls. And my husband has expressed he's deeply bothered by it as well.