hysterectomy

Stephanie - posted on 03/02/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm 25 I have 2 babies that are 16 months apart both girls one is 2 the other will be 1 on the 23rd of March. 10 months after I had my youngest daughter I found out I had to have a partial hysterectomy and kept both my ovaries , many mixed emotions set in for me but I knew it was best for my body and my health. 2 months later after my surgery my sex drive has severely decreased it's the last thing I want my poor husband I feel bad for him but I don't even want to be touched most the time. Well here's my problem now my husband has begun to be very pushy about sex always wanting it always just pushing it I've tried talk to him and if I tell him no he get mad at just throws a fit. And he been buying me sexy outfit he want me to wear pushing it try to make me wear them and even brought home a sex pill trying to get me to take it. I dont know what to do any more I'm at a loss. Any other moms feel that way?

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Jodi - posted on 03/02/2016

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This is emotional abuse. He is emotionally trying to manipulate you into sex by telling you he won't sleep in the same bed unless you do. Sorry, sex is not and should not be a bargaining chip in a relationship. He is being very selfish on this issue.

Jodi - posted on 03/02/2016

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You had major abdominal surgery 2 months ago. How you are feeling is normal. A hysterectomy is going to cause your body major trauma. You know how you have to wait for at least 6 weeks after natural childbirth? Well, it's going to take longer than that for you to heal. He has no right to push you into anything and in fact, he needs it explained to him that your body has gone through a lot. He needs to give it some time. If he is throwing a fit over sex, then he needs some counselling, because that's not okay. Maybe even some couples counselling would help the two of you, and assist him in understanding what is happening to your body. But sorry, he's being an asshole.

Having said that, have you been back to your doctor to discuss some of these things and have a check up? It may be worth making an appointment just to do a check of your hormones and to make sure everything is okay.

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Stephanie - posted on 03/03/2016

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Thank you. you are 100% right and telling me something ive been trying to tell my self for a while now I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else other than family or friends.

Stephanie - posted on 03/02/2016

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Thank you for the advice. I seriously just at a loss I'm actually waiting to hear back from my doctor to make an appointment to go see them and see about everything I have going on. I know my body needs a lot of time to heal I had babies so close together then turned around and had a major surgery so it definitely gone through a lot in the past couple years. but I have tried to explain to him and I even got him mom involved thinking maybe she could explain it to him but nope I can tell him and explain to him that day and that night there he is trying to be super pushy again he wont even sleep in the same bed as me any more unless I have sex with him. it seriously breaks my heart because I'm going through a lot and I don't know what else to tell him to get him to understand anything. Thank you again I like the couple counseling idea it has crossed my mind before.

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