I adore my beautiful step son... but the husbands ex is trying to take custody.

Courtney M - posted on 08/18/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband and his ex wife have joint custody of their 8 year old son. My husband and I live just outside the county where my stepson goes to school. The ex wife is starting to play games. She likes to play detective and ride by our house and rev her engine. . (I was informed by my mother that that was harassment.) She is they type that likes to pretend she is the mother of the year in front of people and then sit him in front of a tv or a play station and ignore him the rest of the time. She is trying to get full custody. Her reason is because we don't live in the same county as the sons school.This would destroy my husband and I. She continues to say that it will effect his school work. I know I can get my stepson to school on time and that his school work will not be effected. I am pretty sure she has no grounds for any kind of case. I just want to be sure. Her family has friends in high places in the county where they live. She has informed us that she has talked to all the right people including a judge. If she does take us to court and we suspect its biased cant we request a different judge in a different county?

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Ev - posted on 08/18/2014

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I have to agree with the ladies here. Also, if your county is right beside the one he lives in and goes to school in but the school is on the border, then I doubt that will change but a lot of school districts anymore want one major residential address to be able to attend that school. If it has to be mom's then it has to be mom's. I do not see where any of the above things mentioned are going to make or break the case for your husband. Its he said/she said pretty much. Those factors other than the school are irritating drama.

Dove - posted on 08/18/2014

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I have to agree w/ everything Shawnn has posted and simply add... Full custody may or may not be awarded, but that doesn't mean that your husband won't still be able to be very involved in his son's life. IF there is a change in custody due to location... You can be pretty sure that a judge will still make sure ample visitation is awarded.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/18/2014

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I’m going to address these in the order you listed them:
“The ex wife is starting to play games. She likes to play detective and ride by our house and rev her engine”: That’s not ‘playing detective’. If you live in an unrestricted community (not gated), she is free to drive on any street in the municipality, just as you are. If there is a restraining order in effect, and by being in the middle of the street that your home sits on violates it, prosecute that.
“She is they type that likes to pretend she is the mother of the year in front of people and then sit him in front of a tv or a play station and ignore him the rest of the time”: How is that? How do you know that she’s portraying herself as mother of the year? And how do you know that the kid does nothing but waste in front of a tv or gaming system?
“She is trying to get full custody”: She does have the right to request custody. The judge will look at the entire situation to determine which parent is in the better location for physical custody, or whether custody will remain shared. Your husband has the same right to request custody.
“Her reason is because we don't live in the same county as the sons school.” To be honest, this could affect his schooling. Depending on how far away you and your husband are from the school, physical residence could be changed to reflect that. Its been proven that uprooting kids during the elementary years (making them change schools too often) is detrimental to their education. If the reason is about keeping the kid’s education steady, it’s a valid reason.
“This would destroy my husband and I.” Why is that, if you feel that you are close enough to not warrant a change of custody? If you feel that you live close enough that the kid’s life wouldn’t be uprooted by an hours long bus ride or whatever, then you’re close enough to still have 50/50, with residential being at mom’s, rather than dad’s.
“She continues to say that it will effect his school work” She’s actually correct about this, see my answer above. This has been proven in several studies.
“I am pretty sure she has no grounds for any kind of case” Oh, so you’re an attorney? She actually may have grounds for the request, and if it is concerning the kid’s education, they’re valid.
If you truly feel that the courts would be biased, your husband can have his attorney request a change.

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