I am 14

Trilby - posted on 01/04/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Im 14 I am so scared. I am 7 weeks pregnant and My boyfriend knows he said
He is going to stay with me. He is 16 a football player and he treats me like I am very important too him. I care so much about him but... he lives so far and my mom is very disappointed in me. Im very disappointed in my self honestly. All I want and the only person I seem to want to be with is my boyfriend. I am trying to debate on weather or not I want to keep the baby. I want to but I am worried I cant take care of the baby. I need advice. I have always been very smart and this is my down fall I got cought up in drugs (pot) and I did lsd 1 time and then remember having sex for the 1st time. I was high. Me and my boyfriend did it repeatedly. Now im sick every day keep haveing food adversitys.
I don't regret anything because this is a chance to learn I was wrong. How can I tell my mom im sorry... Pleasd dont call me dumb. I need advice what would you say I do.


Ev - posted on 01/04/2014




I am sorry to hear that you are in this situation. And there is nothing anyone can say or do to make it go away. Also at the same time you need to think about a few things too besides adoption or abortion or keeping the baby. You have to understand a few things too.

1) Even though your boyfriend says he will stand by you through all of this, many guys his age do not always do this. Is he really ready to take on the role of being a father. And if he is one of those major players on the football team, do you think honestly that he will give up the chance at a scholarship to a good school? Do you think his parents will be supportive as well? Would they be willing to take on some of the expenses of the child.

2) Speaking of expenses, besides the doctor and hospital for labor and delivery, there are the monthly visits to the doctor for checkups not to mention the times baby gets sick and has to go for that. Then you have medications to get for baby on doc orders. THere are immunizations to consider. This does not include diapers, clothing, and other needs for the baby. This does not count things that you even need for yourself.

3) What about school? Do you plan to finish high school? Do you plan to go to college too? With a baby as an adult or even children for that matter, working and also going to school is not easy. I work full time and go part time to school. I have a teenager too. Its not easy to juggle things so I have time for my child to spend with. You have to take that into consideration too.

4) You are going to need income and at 14 or even 15 you need permission from parents to get work. Is he going to get a job to help with the baby. Who is going to babysit when you go to school or work?

As for telling your mom sorry, just go to her and apologize and then ask her how you two are going to handle this because the questions I asked above are the questions you need to find answers for. You need her support as much as you need the father's.


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[deleted account]

Maybe just tell her what you have learned about your past behaviour. How long ago did you tell her? It might take a while to get over the disappointment and shock.
Are you considering abortion or adoption?
Since you are young there will be more difficulties for you with the baby since you still have school and stuff. But everyone gets that worry. My daughter was planned and I still worried about if I was doing the right thing, if I could even take care of her properly.
Abortion you have to be absolutely positive about as living with the regret is very difficult. Adoption can be difficult too emotionally. If one of the choices makes you feel horrible, guilty, sick, feelings of regret. Don't do it.
You have the support of the father so that is good. You can message me if you want.

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