I am a mother of 4 children all grown up ages range from 18,19,23 and 25 the two older children have moved out and have their own apartments . My husband has a son from a previous relationship he is 36 and single. My husband never had any contact with him until he was 18 and old enough to choose for himself. I was very happy for my husband because I knew he had suffered much guilt not knowing if he was growing up safe and well as his estranged partner would not allow access. But, the happy times were short lived I had not long given to out youngest child and I was suffering post natal depression taking care of 3 other children one of which was born with disabilities and a business to run. So I already had so much to cope with, when my step son came to stay he was amazing to begin with very curious and polite helpful I thought hey! Amazing then his mother started calling him and he changed he became the boy from hell telling me if his father met his mother again he would fall in love and leave me for her ! It does sound so childish now when I look back but at the time it seemed like my world was collapsing around me. I asked that he leave and he had to leave he had caused so many issues and lies I couldn't cope. He left our lives and began building a life in London but kept away, two years ago he came back into our lives and I felt I needed to work hard to make it work for his fathers sake his brothers and sister and for my own conscience. He had caused so many problems and although I had issues with depression and young children and in hospital at least one week of each month with my disabled son I was at the time the adult and I should have been stronger, so I wanted to make up I began building a very strong and very happy relationship I didn't feel at all like the monster stepmother but a friend I helped him with a very differ cult relationship he was in being the for them flying to New York to bring her back every time she ran off it was hard still having my own family to deal with but I did it gladly to help and to make up. But recently he has done some very stupid mean things and I have told him and I have become the wicked step mother that he hates now he wants a relationship with his father his brothers and his sister but he wants me out of his life and I don't know what to do. I didn't do anything to deserve being treated like this and he told his girlfriend its because he can't forgive me wanting him out of the house when he first came to us years ago, he told her he has tried to forget but he can't . I don't believe it but, I don't know what I can do about it any suggestion greatly appreciated!!! He had told me six months ago I was his best friend ! And now I seem to be his enemy and its causing great stress to my husband because he just wants things to be as they were.
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Christine - posted on 12/30/2012
Sounds like a very mixed up guy with issues surrounding his parents breakup and you have been caught in the middle by just being part of your husband's new family.
He needs to sort himself out and you have to make your husband aware that he is upsetting you. Your husband cannot allow this and he should stand by you. Don't make his problems your problems. If he cannot behave himself and act in a mature manner then he cannot be allowed in your home and disrupt the harmony of your family.
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