i am a mother of two teenage boys

Amanda - posted on 08/12/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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please help. my youngest is 13 and he failed grade 4 last year. he is doing much better, but ever since he started school he hated it, and he always fake sickness to stay home. he battles to spell any words, Afrikaans and English, and that usually brings his marks down.

he loves to fight and he is always in a bad mood if he doesn't get his own way. I have tried everything already, I bribed him, gave him a hiding, put him in the corner and even took away everything he likes doing or playing with.

he has terrible mood swings and always fighting with the kids and if you ask him why, then he would say that they started. the school already phoned me to tell me how he is bullying the kids. how can this stop. what am I doing wrong? I feel like a failure as a mother because sometimes I cant even handle my own child, and I know that a very few people actually likes him because he is so moody. please help me, I don't know anymore.

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Annemare - posted on 08/13/2014

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Alright, I wonder if this might work for you a little bit :) This might perhaps also be a bit of a 'bribe' but maybe it will work - What if you tell your son that he won't get that one thing he wants until he can show you he's improving in something and then stick to that and then very soon he will see that you are serious and it might make him think a bit about what's really important and that he has to work hard for his own future one day. And with his school work there's also a place called Bio Link don't know if you heard about them already?? They can also help improve his school work as well and they have lots of things on their website :) Or perhaps Occupational therapy perhaps :)

Annemare - posted on 08/13/2014

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Hi Amanda, you mustn't ever think that you are a failure as a mother, you sound like a wonderful mother. It does sound like your son is really battling with something that I'm sure he can't help to control himself. Sometimes children also bully to get attention from others, even if it's bad attention or how ever they might get it (as long as they get attention somehow).

How is your other teenage son doing in school and social wise? What we do with our boys is they get pocket money every month, and when ever they are not behaving or not listening then we deduct money of there and you should see what a difference that makes and it works with us. Our children's in a lovely school called Spark Schools Ferndale and they are wonderful there and have lots of tutors helping out on specific things that the kids are struggling with and then they help them to improve that subject and it's the best school in the whole world, I can tell you lots of things about that school :)

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Amanda - posted on 08/13/2014

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Hi There

my eldest son is 15 and he is very quiet. the school my kids are in separate schools as the eldest one is in high school this year. he seems a bit lazy but nothing I cannot handle.

we don't give pocket money, as my husband don't get the same salary every month, but we get the children what they want when they want it. take for instance my eldest son has a car already since he was 14, although we bought it VERY secondhand, my son has to fix it up himself from scratch. my younger son had a motorbike, but he is never satisfied with what he has, even though he chooses the stuff himself, and he always wants to swop his new things for second hand rubbish, just because he gets board with anything very quickly.

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