I am a replacement father, with ADHD, and my son certainly has ADD, though never diagnosed. I'm here to learn :)

Alex - posted on 11/29/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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(hwsra) = he whom shall remain annonymous
I certainly wish (hwsra)' father would be more of a part of his son's life, as I think the collective hurdles in our family would be further and fewer between with my wonderful son. Joining this community is to help further educate myself in parenting, as well as enlighten my girlfriend as to why, how I may seem so annoying, and redundant with explaining life to him for about 9 hours of each day, it's only for his betterment. I know this is what he needs, I see it in his eyes, and feel it in his hugs when he begins to understand an altercation we had, or are having. With mommy, the problem may have just been cried out, and comforted(mommed :). I love her, and know she means well, but it's soooooo incredibly frustrating when she just happens upon (hwsru) and I hashing things out, and she takes my harsh tone personally, as if I'm attacking him with my words. I have a bit of a deep voice that carries, perhaps a bit too well, as my father did. I see many of the mistakes he made, and not to put my dad down, but I know I can do better. My mother never understood me, she mommed me, and I love her so much for it, but at the same time it was wrong. She essentially would keep my father on a leash because she didn't like the way he dealt with me....But his ways worked, and I wish they hadn't been figuratively severed during my adolescence, when I began to resent my father, for not being a pushover like my mother. I'm upset that she didn't want to see things my, and my father's way, because I may have continued growing up, instead of having my maturing put on hault from the age of 12, until now. Ha... I have had ADD all of my life, and have always needed to be taught a special, happy way, no matter what my age(currently 30). My father knew that my learning experience had to incorporate things that kept me interested, or I'd never have any inclination to want to learn ANYTHING. Life was very rough for me in school, and I absolutely can't have that cycle repeat with (hwsru). The way I see my girlfriend, dare I say, spoiling, my son, will only do that. Spoil him, and miss out on all of the opportunities to learn, CONSTANTLY as he needs. A day with my son, as just one parent, is exhausting to say the least, but it feels like a hard day's work, completely worth it for what "seeds have been sewn." I want to be understood better by my girlfriend, better my parenting, and perhaps even enlighten a few of you wonderful people with some of my limited fathering experience. Mostly, I want to be educated though, I need to know when I'm wrong, it all has to be...pre-explained, as I don't really understand consequences quite as well as I should, just yet :) Much love to you all.

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