Toni - posted on 12/11/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )
I have been separated for almost a year and divorced 9 months, I started seeing a this guy who is about 6 years younger than me around the time my divorce was going through. He was not a stranger to the family so my kids already knew him (which I thought was better than bringing in a stranger, but second guessing that now) Of course my exhusband had a fit about it which was to be expected, but now I'm catching it from everybody. Everytime one of my kids mentions anything to their other family members I get a phone call with threats etc....my kids seem happy for the most part and I have tried talking to each of them separately to see if they are upset about us dating or if they just don't like him and they both seem to love him, I can't figure out if its just the kids playing the fence or if I'm truly missing something here. Examples would be, my my youngest told her father that my boyfriend turned off her TV because she was being disrespectful, and my ex told her (shes 5) that he doesn't need to be doing that....Give me a break, if YOU were here and my child was being disrespectful and you turned off her TV I wouldnt have thought twice about it. HE didnt spank her or yell at her he simply walked in her room and turned her TV off. Then, we were working on a school project with my 9 yr old and he put glue on his hands (yes childish I know, he is 6 yrs younger than me) but he put his hands on my face and my daughters face just playing around, no harm done or intended and a few days later I did not notice that we didn't get ALL of the glue off of her face and I get an irate phone call from her grandmother with he isnt her father, he shouldnt be touching her and shes going to call the authorities....Of course I nutted up because other than being childish and me not checking behind her to make sure she got all of the glue off what part of this is abuse??? So my question is...am I missing something? Is this me being blinded or selfish? Or should I continue to defend him when i feel that he is doing no harm? I divorced because my children were witnessing alot of verbal and mental abuse and was hoping to give them a better life, but am I doing it wrong? He isn't mean to any of us and has never "put his hands" on either of them other than just playing with them. He doesn't dicipline them other than the occasional, "Thats enough" or "What did you mother tell you" and like I said he wasn't a stranger to them so it's not like he had never said any of these things to them before we became a couple....I feel like I am letting them get to me and now I am second guessing everything I do.