I am a step mom - Mom is trying to get an Protective Order against me

Alison - posted on 01/14/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am a step mom of 10 years. My husband's oldest (16) asked to live with her dad and we have been in a 2 year battle with her mom over this. There are VERY good reasons the child doesn't want to live with her mom. My other two stepchildren are 11 and 13 and are with us quite a bit as well. Mom has HATED my guts from day one and has spent years poisoning the children against my husband and myself, but especially me. She calls me vulgar names in front of our two other children at events or if I run into her anywhere. This week I found out that she tried to get an ex parte Protective Order against me for her and her three children (even though one is living with us now). It was denied but we still have a hearing to see if there are any merits to the case. Coincidentally she and my husband go to court the first part of February for the final hearing in my step-daughter's case to live with us. Timing interesting for sure. She wrote that on a night I took her other two younger children to something at the school (happened to be my ANNIVERSARY so I remember the night clearly) that I was drunk and falling down and almost hit cars. In her statement she claimed that the two younger children told her this. There is ZERO truth to this allegation. So now more lawyers and money and I am so disappointed and hurt with the other two. BTW, she filed this last Thursday (and took the two youngers with her) then dropped them off at our house ffor my husband's visitation and left them with me? I thought I was so dangerous?????????
We have been in vicious court battles with her for years. She has called the police at least 20 times on my husband in 12 years (never has been a charge or hint that he ever did anything wrong). I don't even have a parking violation on my record and have been nothing but good to all of the children.
I am frustrated, scared, hurt, angry, stressed.....Has anyone been through something like this?

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Raye - posted on 01/14/2016

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I am a step-mom, and while my step kids' mom has her share of craziness, flakiness, and thoughtlessness, it's reading stories like yours that remind me how much worse it could be. I'm so sorry you're going through something like that. She should be an adult and not cause her children further trauma by being vindictive and nasty.

You know there is no basis for her allegations, so you have to trust in the legal system to pass the right judgment. As long as you are abiding by court orders, then try not to let her get to you. Try to stay out of her drama as much as possible, and don't give her anything that she can use against you. Document, document, document everything and present your own evidence to the judge about her verbal abuse, inconsistencies, etc. If you or your husband have texts or anything concrete that back up your claims, print them and keep them handy to present in court.

Keep doing your best for the kids, too. It's not their fault their mom is a lunatic. Take some solace in knowing they have someone they can look up to... YOU! The kids will know who was really there for them and has had their best interests at heart. Don't go around acting like you're better than her, but it's okay to feel that way! ;-)

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