I am about to put my 17 year old son out

Lesa - posted on 01/21/2015 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I love my child, but he have turned into this person I don't know anymore. He haven't talked to me in over a month.

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Lesa - posted on 01/24/2015

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I found out today that my son and his friend was smoking outside my condo that mean he don't care about me putting him out. I am in so much pain because as a mother I love him and I want the best for him, but he act like he hate me. I don't want to call the cops and he get a record. I know that I got to let him go

Lesa - posted on 01/23/2015

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I have told him that he can stay if his attitude changes and he do what needs to be done. He want that freedom that he think that comes with being an adult, but he is doing it the wrong way. If you met him he is very polite he will say yes mam and no mam to me. I think he is going to learn the hard way to realize how good he had it at home. I hate this for my daughters because they know how he is acting is wrong, but they are sad because they know he got to leave. I think they are worried about how they relationship will be with him. I told them he will still be a ble to visit if I am at home because sadvto say I don't trust the b person he have become..

Jodi - posted on 01/23/2015

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OK, that's a bit more information that is very helpful. If he is turning 18 in a month, then I would give him that as official notice to shape up or ship out. Specify what you expect from him if he wishes to continue to live under your roof as an adult (get it in writing as an agreement - like a rental agreement), and let him know that if he can't meet these rules, which are based on respect of other members of the household, and contribute his "rent", then he will be out.

Lesa - posted on 01/23/2015

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The truth is about a year ago I found out he was smoking weed and after that blow he went out and got a tattoo although I went off on him a week later he got another one. I put him in a 3 month program for smoking weed. To me it seem like after he started getting worst after he started working and he lime because he is soon to be 18 he can do what he want. I am a true believer in not letting my children disrespect me and since he don't want to go by rules he got to go. It is so hard as a parent you love and nurture them and they just turn on you

Lesa - posted on 01/23/2015

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He want ignore me he will just give yes and no answers or he will say I don't know. He just want to do what he wany and will get an attitude if you say no. He have a job and I say contibute 50.00 dollars every 2 weeks he don't want to do that. He want to buy food and clothes he said it's his money and he shouldn't have to give anything

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/23/2015

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What's changed in the last few months in your life or family? Sounds like he may be reacting to a change, or upheaval

Jodi - posted on 01/23/2015

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So if you ask a question he will answer, but if you try to have a conversation with him he ignores you?

Lesa - posted on 01/23/2015

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I am a single parent I have talked to my 17 year old son about his attitude it is unacceptable, but since he don't want to follow the rules he have to go. He will be 18 in a month and he have a job. I hate that it has to be this way but I have other kids watching his behavior.

Lesa - posted on 01/23/2015

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If I ask him a question he will answer, but holding a conversation with me not at all . He act like I am invisible if he have a question he willl ask

Jodi - posted on 01/21/2015

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I guess it depends what you mean by "hasn't talked to me". Is he deliberately snubbing you and giving the silent treatment? Or is it just that he's not really talkative these days?

Sarah - posted on 01/21/2015

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I have found that as the years went by my now 18yo son, got quieter and quieter. The trick for me was to catch him at a "good time". Right after cross-country was a good time, as he was spent from running and yet feeling good. That's when we'd talk and he'd fill me in on his day to day activity. First thing in the morning, all I get is a grunt.
I would not tolerate the silent treatment. Period. You are his mother, he must respect you. I will not allow my kids to leave without saying good-bye, get up from dinner without saying thank you. Sure, my kids get grumpy, and just want to be left alone, so do I. Has he been shutting out everyone? Or just you?

T - posted on 01/21/2015

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Lesa, I hope you don't think I am being cheeky here, but are you a single mother?

Theresa

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/21/2015

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I hate to say this, but...being the parent of two boys, one being 17...

This didn't 'just start'. He's been behaving poorly, being the 'person you don't know' for awhile. You either didn't see it, or hoped he'd grow out of it.

Address his behaviour now.

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