Carly - posted on 07/16/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )
I will try to keep this short but it will be hard. I'm also using a tablet so sorry for errors. I am a very private person and I don't know where to turn. My husband is in the military and in November left for boot camp and A School. He was gone for six months and I lived alone with my then one year old. We had family in the area who sometimes babysat. Two months ago my husband got station in Virginia where we have no family or friends. I have never been a social person so I didn't mind. Our family was overinvolved and gave us a hard time so I was relieved. Since moving here I have gradually become increasingly miserable. I miss living alone. It was the happiest I have ever been. the first few weeks here were fine. My husband started complaining about what I didn't do. If I cleaned the house he wanted to know why dinner wasn't ready and so on. There are certain tasks that my husband refuses to let me do but he procrastinated doing it himself. Like hooking up the dryer. He told me he would hook it up so I assumed he did. I did a few loads of laundry and he said not to do any more until the dryer was hooked up and that he would do it the next day. A month and a half later it was done. I reminded him every day. I was left with a huge pile of laundry and the day after he fixed it he came home to yell at me for not having it done. I follow around and care for a puppy and a two year old every day while cleaning up after them and making food among other tasks. Then I found out he was still taking the legal drugs I thought he quit before boot camp I felt hopeless and desperate. He was blowing our money and lying about it. We hardly had groceries or cleaning supplies any more and I couldn't keep up with chores. The more he complained and especially lied, the less I felt like doing anything. My energy was gone because I was too sad to move. Everything was falling apart including our relationship. We use to be best friends. I kept trying to talk to him but he always blows me off and ignores me. I cry every day and he ignores me. I went to the Dr and he said I'm depressed and referred my to a psychiatrist but we only have one car and can't afford daycare so I'd have to take my baby with me. This make some feel like I can't go. I do want to talk to someone so bad. My family blame some for anything I complain to them about and don't want me to move back home. I was diagnosed with depression four times while living with them and they wouldn't get me help. They thinks it's made up crap. My husband got me a sweet card a few days ago and promised things would be better but last night he pushed me and I am back in miserable. There's a lot more I left out but hopefully you get the most of it. Am I truly trapped? I want to get a job but it would have to wait until the baby starts school and then I'd have to save up and by that time it'd be much harder on her. Plus I don't know how I can deal for that long.