I am dealing with a 12 year old pre-teen & a hard working mom

JAD - posted on 09/26/2015 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I am a single mom who has a beautiful daughter. Her father loves her very much but as has been abusive & a very mean man to both me and her in the past. I am only reaching out because I am so exhausted from work (50 plus hours), her pre-teen attitude & frustrations with school, her thinking I am the worst mom in the world, her father threatening me & me not having a social life. I want to cry all the time but I cant in order to stay strong. Calgone take me away (like the commercial).......

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/27/2015

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LOL...I'll take purple, please! Then I would be a woman of 'colour'!

Dove - posted on 09/27/2015

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Other than that... yeah, if he's not adhering to the court order... take him back to court. If you are stressed and overwhelmed... counseling and get a break. If you have no social life... that is your OWN doing (or not doing).

Take some control here... Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 09/27/2015

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I want to know that too....and I am not even involved. What on God's green earth gave you the impression someone was "of color" what a icky term! I live in a diverse community so this rankles me to the core.
Shawnn....I don't think you will get an answer. If you were black, brown, yellow or green I could not respect you more!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/27/2015

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Jad, I still want to know WHY you decided to bring race into this conversation. You've apologized to me privately, but you have not addressed the question, and you need to.

You live in the 21st century. WHAT DOES RACE HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR QUESTION, OR ANY PARENTING QUESTION.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/26/2015

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What does race have to do with anything? can you not see my profile pic?
What would change if you WERE speaking with a black woman, versus a caucasian?

Good grief. You've got a situation that can be addressed, so address it. I'm glad that you are in counseling, but maybe it's time to seek a different counselor, if you're still feeling overwhelmed with everything. As I said, your daughter is old enough that she doesn't need your 24/7 supervision, so you can get some time to yourself.

Get a neutral child exchange court ordered, and if your ex will not comply, take him back to court for contempt.s

JAD - posted on 09/26/2015

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Easier said then done when you travel 50% of the time.......are you a woman of color because I get that imprecation? Not that its any of my business.....

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/26/2015

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If he's not keeping to the orders, you need to go back to court.

JAD - posted on 09/26/2015

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Yes, that has been happening for over 5 years...but thanks for the suggestion. And I do co-parent with her father but he doesn't keep to the restraining order.

JAD - posted on 09/26/2015

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I have tried counseling and both of them refuse to participate. And yes she does, which why I have not interrupted their relationship.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/26/2015

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Perhaps counseling would help. From your other responses, I'm gathering you'd rather never have to deal with the child's father, but that's not your choice, nor your decision. The child has the right to the relationship. If you feel that he is a danger, get evidence and present it.
Your child is old enough now for you to have some time alone, and I suggest that you take that time. It sounds as if you need a break

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