I am in desperate need of some guidance with parenting my 4 year old daughter.

Audrey - posted on 09/06/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




She is my only child, and with how things are going, she might be my last. It seems every little thing is a battle...What she wears, eats, how we even play dolls. I have to lay with her until she falls asleep, which can often take hours. She is a very loving child, but her fits and controlling behavior suck the joy out of our time together. It has also torn my husband and I apart. I feel little support and despair. Any advice would be appreciated. I keep waiting for this "phase" to pass...I have been waiting for 2.5 years. I can't help but feel like I am failing as a mother.


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Amanda - posted on 09/06/2012




My almost 3 yr old does this sometimes. She knows I won't put up with it so she stops pretty quickly most of the time.

I let her pick her own clothes within reason. With meal times she gets what she's given, there's no second option. Both her and my 4 yr old know I wouldn't give them anything they don't like so there's no reason to not eat what I cook for them.

If they whinge and cry for the sake of doing it or making noise, they go to their rooms until they are calm enough to join back in.

The same goes for if we are playing, for example, tea parties. I set all the tea party set up with all her toys and she goes off because the cup is facing the wrong way. I move it and she starts on something else. I've poured the tea wrong or used the wrong utensils to pick up the cakes. I walk away.

I know I sound really harsh and strict but I won't have my kids controlling the household dynamics. If they are sick or there really is something wrong I will panda to them a little bit more, but I am the boss of my house and what I say goes

Janelle - posted on 09/06/2012




My child started acting like that over EVERYTHING when he was around 2. wasn't sure if it was just a phase or if I was just being too easy on him. I like had a break down one day and every time he yelled at me, looked at me the wrong way, talked back, told me no I would send him to the corner until he stopped crying. He spent many hours in that corner. But he eventually learned how he needs to behave. I use to have to lay in his bed with him till he fell asleep but I let him know that he is a big boy now and has to do it on his own and I never gave in no matter how much he cried. He also used to freak out If I didn't buy him a new toy every time we went shopping. My mom told me that I used to do this too. She would tell me no and if I started crying she would walk away and ignore me and act like it didn't bother her that I cried....Works great haha. My son is 5 now and I rarely have problems with him. He just started school this year and to my surprise is very well behaved there too. I used to literally have nightmares about him starting school and how much trouble he would get in! Good luck! : )

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