Reneetra - posted on 11/20/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )
I am a woman that grew up in a single parent home, and never planned on having kids because I was afraid of also becoming a single parent. I found out I was pregnant at the age of 25 with my first child which is now 11 years old, and second child exactly a year later on the same date. At the beginning of the relationship everything was great, and when I had my second child things started to crumble slowly. I finally got to a point where I was literally losing my mind, because I could not understand why I was being physically, mentally, and verbally abused, and at one point lived in a shelter for domestic violence victims. I was determined to make my family work, and was willing to except whatever I had to for that reason. I turned to drinking everyday, lashing out at people, not wanting to live anymore. I knew I needed help so I had a conversation with my kids father, and asked if he could keep the kids because I did not want my kids seeing there mom down and out just an emotional wreck. This was not a over night situation, and I felt alone, did not have any support. I meet this guy and night after night we would talk and I would spill my heart out to him so he knew what I was going through. I ended up pregnant with twins, and I tried to self abort I felt like a complete failure, and my kids deserved better. I gave up on me!! My landlord went to the courts and petitioned me to be picked up and get a physiological evaluation, and I ended up in Pine Rest for two weeks so the father of the twins had moved all my stuff into his apartment because it was not good for me to be alone. The father of my older kids found out that I was pregnant and his feelings was hurt, and he was very angry with me so he went to the courts and got full custody of our kids, but he sent the paperwork to my old address which he knew I was no longer living at. I knew nothing about him having full custody until I called friend of the court when I received paperwork about child support. I have no issue paying child support for my kids. I have stopped drinking and have been getting my kids 3-4 days a week on my days off of work. I recently had an issue with his current girlfriend, and the consequences of me voicing my opinion he only lets me get my kids one day a week which is not right. My kids and I know that this is not fair and has affected my kids in a negative way. I just don't know what to do anymore and I am very disappointed in myself for being so weak. My heart is broken!!