I am married to a man who divorced and has 2 teenaged girls. We have been together over 5 years and this year all 4 of us moved into our new home. I am currently out on maternity leave as we are expecting our first child in 3 wks!! Problem: the 15 year old keeps complaining of abdominal pain, has done so since I've known her. She has been in and out of doctors offices and hospitals and has even had surgery to remove her appendix, yet every test, every X-ray, every ultrasound, every MRI etc. has shown nothing. Nothing wrong! Could she be suffering from a stress related illness. Divorce stress from years ago, new baby on its way, pressures of being a teen?? Could these things be causing her to feel pain? It always seems that these pains are never present when she is with her friends etc only when she doesn't want to be somewhere or do something. She comes home from school and straight to her room with door closed. Could she just e seeking attention? Could this be munchaussen since she has had surgery as a preventative measure? I think she really feels the pain but I feel that she is causing the pain in order for dads attention. Help?
Lena - posted on 01/09/2013
I have always talked to them. Given my ear to them even told them I'm not here to report every little back to dad ( only if I feel they are in harms way) I have gotten dad to let boyfriends over to meet the family etc. she has become different lately. We used to watch movies together, now all she does is sit in her room w her iPhone and tv and pc. I get this is typical for her age. I don't think she's being bullied, she's a very pretty girl and has lots of friends. She knows she can talk to me about anything. I just really think she's seeking attention from dad bc soon she won't be the youngest anymore. But to go as far as having unnecessary surgery I think it's pretty serious and she might need therapy. When she pulls theses stunts she spends a week at the hospital and dad stays overnight with her. That's what it's all about, asserting her position. I have been nothing but good to the kids. I take them out, take them to dr apps, helped the older one get into college, bought sweet 16 and prom dresses, new furniture new TVs for their rooms they live in a nice home, spend time with them, talk with them etc things their own mother didn't do until she lost them now she tries. Not bath mouthing her, I always tell them she's ur mom and deserves respect and one day they will understand her actions. I'm just saying I'm not an evil step mom.
Michelle - posted on 01/09/2013
It sounds like she's using it to not do what she doesn't want to do. Have you sat down and talked to her? I mean you actually listen to what she says and let her do the talking. Is she maybe being bullied at school?
I think you really need to open up the lines of communication so she can let you know how she's feeling without being worried of your reaction.
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