I am sick and tired of being push around by my children please any one can give me advice

Maria - posted on 11/27/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




I am a single mother with 3 adult children, My 2 older children are out the home for study but they come from time to time, but my younger one who is 19 years old live with me. she stays late at night she never cook or clean after her self i can never ask her to do any thing around the house because she start fighting with me, she calls me names and we end up arguing and i gave up and do every thing for her and clean after her, i know you probably think why am I doing? because if i don't do it the house will be dirty and smelly, her room is like a hoarders I can't even look at it, I can't do any thing if I ask her to move out she says I don't care what you saying, the father is not around and i can't do any thing as i said I am a single mother with minimum wage I have to pay rent, bills and on top she don't eat home cook food I have to buy her food to avoid the fight, we fight a lot that most of the time I want to commit suicide. she doesn't care to tell me where she going, she is in university and most of the time she doesn't go to her class because she stays late texting or on her laptop if I tell her to go she doesn't listen and she text my other children that mom is crazy and she has turned my other children against me that they are blaming me I don't know what to do, the only thing is good that out side she is not a bad she is not on drug or any kind of bad stuff.


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Jodi - posted on 11/27/2013




I agree with Evelyn, you are enabling the behaviour. Stop allowing this to happen. Stop doing ANYTHING for her. I am assuming at the moment you are providing for her. Stop. Put locks on the cupboards. Stop doing her laundry. Don't allow her to sit all day and watch TV. If that means taking the TV out of the house, then do it. Make life as difficult as possible. Forget that she blames it on you - don't take it personally. She needs to figure it out. She's 19. She can deal with it.

And again, cancel the phone. You don't need to know where she is. That's her problem now.

Maria - posted on 11/27/2013




thanks: I have cancelled her phone for some time but i gave it back because when she goes some where or university i want to know where she is or if some thing happens to her she can tell me or some one else. About the finding a job I tell her all the time but she doesn't care, the other day she said i found the job which is half in hour drive from home and she was telling me that i have to drive her 5 in the morning when i told her no i am not as usual she blamed me for it, and she sent a text to her sister that Mom won't let me to get a job

Ev - posted on 11/27/2013




Well, you keep enabling her by doing her laundry, cleaning up after her and so on. You need to put your foot down and stop. Let her laundry pile up, do not make her meals, and though she leaves messes in the rest of the house I can't say to stop keeping those main areas clear. Just stop doing what will really cut into her life like the laundry and making food. Also, point out that unless she gets a job in say a couple of months she has to leave. If she can not contribute to the house chores then she does not need to live there. If you pay for phone, internet and so on cut off the funds for those. Do not give in anymore. Did she ever help in the past?

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