. I am sick of it but what can I do??

Dawn - posted on 01/26/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

5

8

0

Hello, I am a mom of three grown kids 37,36,35 ages and I got remarried to a great man a little older then me but only 6 years and all of my family,kids love him with all their hearts, and he has three grown kids also, but only two kinda like me the daughter hates me really bad she says I make her dad not come over to see HIS grandbabies, we have grandbabies on my sode also but we have them over to stay weekends and go places with them and babysite our youngest one, but his daughter will not let us have anything to do with her kids OUR grandbabies she keeps saying that the kids on my side arent BLOOD and hers ARE BLOOD to him he could go see them without me which wount help the probem at all. Just dont know what eles to try or do I have bent over back wards for all three of his grown kids they are 39,33,26 and only the daughter has any little ones ages 4,3.1 and we havent ever got to meet the year old girl yet, and the other two dont even know who we are any more, I know this hurts my hubby, but he says it dont that she is hurting them little ones. we both feel ALL THE GRANDBABIES ARE OURS NOT BECAUSE THE ARE OR ARENT BLOOD, THEY ARE OURS!!!!! any ideas what maybe able to give it a shot?? Thank You for your time with this matter, hope to hear so feed back on it. have a good nite now!! Dawn

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Krista - posted on 01/26/2012

12,562

16

845

By him staying away, his daughter is thinking that he is putting you over the grandkids. That's not really the right way for her to feel, but you can't control how people feel -- only how you react to it. For now, while the kids are so young, I would suggest that perhaps your husband go over there by himself to visit the grandkids. He should go there often. And maybe once he's been over there, she'll start to soften a bit, and he can ask why she dislikes you so much. It's going to take little steps, and you and your husband might have to swallow your pride for a little while, even though you haven't done anything wrong.



Question: how long ago did your husband split from his kids' mother?

8 Comments

View replies by

Dawn - posted on 01/27/2012

5

8

0

I just wish everey one could get along, I guess that I was thinking like on tv all happy big family get togethers and all, But its not to be. Have a great night!

Dawn - posted on 01/27/2012

5

8

0

well she is very hateful she is so close to her mother that its not funny But its the grandbabies that she is really hurting..

Tina - posted on 01/27/2012

1,314

28

301

My step brothers are very much like that they take all they can and don't give a shit about their dad. You can't do much when they're like that.

Lyssa - posted on 01/27/2012

314

42

35

she's obviously a very angry person and taking it out on you. is she close with her mother? if she is i bet that's one of the big reasons. and she also sounds incredibly selfish. she thinks it's all about her feelings and not thinking of anyone elses. what's the relationship like between your husband, his ex and you?

Krista - posted on 01/27/2012

12,562

16

845

Oh, that's difficult, then if she won't even have him over. Do you have any idea WHY she hates you so badly? It doesn't make any sense that she says that you keep her dad away from the grandbabies, if she's the one not letting her dad go over.



Is there another family member, maybe an aunt, who could try to talk to her?

Dawn - posted on 01/27/2012

5

8

0

well they got divorced back in 1998 and his daughter hates both of us right now she dont want him over to her home ever at this time she has done this to us a few times already, and this is my Doug wount give in and try goin over to her place she lives over a hour and half away from us and its a long drive for nonthing you know? She usely comes back around when its one of the grandbabies birthdays or the hoildays to get gifts from us is all, and take isnt right. Hope that everyone understands that we have done all that we can its up to her now. Thank You for the feedback!! Have a great Friday & a safe and happy weekend to you and your family!! Dawn

Tina - posted on 01/26/2012

1,314

28

301

My partner is having a similar situation with his mum now. Also because her partner tries to tell him what to do. Which really annoys him. Their is a bit more to it in his case. But there is still the issue of his mum putting the partner before her kids. She also goes out of her way to visit his kids but doesn't for her own grandkids. Christmas day she went and visited her sisters and went and visited her partners kids. But she couldn't stop in to see us. We were having a get together we invited her. Her partner wasn't for the simple reason him and my partners dad would clash. But she that shouldn't stop her from stopping by and atleast seeing her kids and grandkids for a few minutes. Sometimes it can also feel sometimes like you're trying to replace a parent. I know you're trying to be accepted by his daughter but sometimes it's better to step back let them deal with their issues. And if down the track she's happy for you to be part her life and the life of her children then you make an effort. But still baby steps. Don't try to be the parent or the grandparent. Be a friend.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms