I am so frustrated lately, and ready to run far away. I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years, with plans of getting married next year...my heart feels like its breaking! He has a 16 and a 13 year old, both girls. I have a 7 yr old daughter. His daughters mother is an alcoholic and has decided since we have been engaged to try to work things out with their dad. He continues tells her NO. Than she blames me for everything! She talks crap about me and her kids dad- the kids know there parents don't get along and play them. They are suppose to go back and forth each week. BUT because of moms drinking they stay months with us, than when they decide to talk with mom again they fight with us and we don't see them for months! I am so sick of the games, the stress, the drama. But there dad is truly my soulmate. I feel kinda stuck, unsure and try to communicate with him about how I feel, he doesn't get it..I feel like I am pushing away and sex well I am just not in the mood anymore. His ex wife drives me nuts and and his kids only like me when mom disappears on a drunken binge an skips town....help I need advice!
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Dawn - posted on 08/14/2012
Oh dear, what an awful situation! Have you thought of family therapy? Or even premarital counseling. The kids only play the parents against each other because they can. It's what kids do. Test the boundaries.
Why do they get to stay with mom for months? If the arrangement is once a week, even if she forfeits her privileges for months at a time, shouldn't they still only go once a week when she decides to see them? The consistency of your house would probably do the girls some good.
Kudos to your man for not falling for her ploy to try to get him back. And kudos to you for sticking through all this. How does your daughter feel about the situation?
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