I am struggling staying out of my 15 year old daughter social life

Gabriela - posted on 12/04/2017 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 15 year old daughter is hangin out with boys from her school on a regular basis, she claims they are just friends however I can sense there is more, as she spends a lot of time texting him. I don't know a lot about this boy but I have heard that he does drugs and he distributes drugs in school. I am stuck and don't know what to do, how can I get my daughter to realize he is not a good influence.

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Ev - posted on 12/04/2017

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Also you pay for the phone right? If you feel she is not being responsible enough for her age with it then take it away and give her a plain phone that only allows calls for when she needs you for anything.

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Hope - posted on 12/05/2017

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Isn't it amazing the way that we fear the decisions that our children make? Our job as responsible parents is to be there to help to guide them. When I was in college, we would all ride with a guy who had a car. My boyfriend told me that I should stay away from him. Like many people, I don't like to be told what to do. I wasn't interested in the boy, so i did not see what difference it made. As it happens, one particular night, I was not in his car. He was stopped by DC police and was arrested. He had drugs in his car and had been identified as a major drug dealer on campus. If I had been in his car that night, my life would probably be very different today. My point is, I was not using drugs, I had no intention of using drugs, and I felt that I knew what I was doing. In my opinion, I was not in any danger.
If I were you, I would tell my daughter the truth, that you are scared for. You have heard some things about this boy that aren't good. Has she heard these same things? If so, does she care more about her relationship with him than the possible consequence of having a record for drug possession? If you trust her, tell her so. If she makes good decisions, tell her so. Remind her of the rules of your home. Let her know that you love her and that you will not support a relationship with someone who is not a good influence in her life. That's how we demonstrate love to our children by setting boundaries and sticking to them.

Sarah - posted on 12/05/2017

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If you pay for the phone, you can read her texts and get a feel for the sort of relationship she has with these boys. If she is engaging in illegal behavior, then you address it. There is nothing wrong with keeping an eye on your growing teen.

Michelle - posted on 12/04/2017

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Unless you are going to take her phone away and lock her up there's not a lot you can do. She will see him at school anyway.
All you can do is let her know that you will always be there for her. Make sure you keep the communication open (especially at this age) so if there are any problems she will come to you. She needs to make her own decision about not hanging around with him and the more you push her the more she will see him.

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